I've been in a bad mood lately. The worst part about it is that it may just be my real personality. HAHAHA! Several months back I read an article (
http://articles.latimes.com/2002/feb/20/news/mn-28924) stating that Utah was the state with the highest rate of anti-depressant use, almost double the rate of use of the average state. Why are so many of us self-medicating?! You can't tell me that there isn't a major element of the pressure Mormon women feel to be "perfect" mixed into all of this. This of course will have to be a blog topic for another day because I definitely have a lot to say about this. But for now, let me just say that reading this article caused me to think about my own use of the anti-depressant Zoloft for the past 5 years. I came to the conclusion that I did not want to be a life-time user of brain altering medicine without knowing if perhaps I no longer needed it and had been able to work through some of my issues, which of course you will never know unless you "detox" yourself every once in a while. Well, suffice it to say that I have been angry at the world for about 2 weeks now--the amount of time I have been weened off of my medication. The thing is, as of now, I really just want to concentrate on facing my issues face to face, without my emotions being dulled, even if that means I may not be as nice a person as I thought I was for the past 5 years. Or maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit and I'm in a bad mood because people are disappointing and life is tough.
I'm going to try and concentrate on the positive things in my life right now, like the fact that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I love Valentine's Day. We will be having our annual family "red" dinner, complete with candlelight and red, purple, and pink food. We also decorated our Valentine sacks yesterday so that Cupid can leave a small gift for each child as well as love notes from each other. Also, on Saturday Madison and I ran a Valentine's 5K race together. Kristen, my sister, also ran it with us, or should I say waaaaaay in front of us. :) I really enjoy doing things with my kids, one on one.
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| Me and Mads before our race |
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| Me and Krissy after the race |
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| Madison and best friend Ashley after the race |
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Sunday I decided to try a little photo experiment with
glitter. I really like some of the results! |
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| My little glitter girl |
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| Making Valentine sacks. Yes, Christian still loves this tradition. |
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Notice the tiger and leopard heart stickers she is using.
Perfect for a "tiger-dog". |
4 comments:
It will be interesting to see how your experiment without zoloft goes. The thing is, for some people, taking the antidepressant brings their brain chemistry into normal range. If they go off it, that's when their brain is altered. I hope you can stay off it because that's what you want to do. I love the effects of the fairy dust. Elisabeth looks so much like Maddie with her hair cut like that. The sweetest thing in your blog was big Christian sitting there with his little siblings making valentines!! Sweet!!!
I LOVE the glitter pictures! As far as the bad mood, me TOO! I was having a complete breakdown crying and all and low and behold the Bishop knocked on my door to give me a new calling. Adding to my stress level. :( I completely understand your feelings. Hopefully you will find what you need and happiness will come. :)
Love your blog! Makes me feel human.
Happy Valentines Day to you and your family! I hope you feel better. You might try counseling as an option. I am a big personal fan of that. You guys do a lot of fun family activities.
I love the real you as well as the drug altered you, I guess I'm just saying a love you. Will you be my Valentine?
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