The Ashton-Whisperer

Today I am thankful for Hunter, my 10 year old who somehow can (almost) always calm Ashton down, reason with him and entertain him for hours to give me a break.  Hunter has become everyone's favorite sibling.  In fact, a lot of the squabbles we have in our family are based around who gets to sit by Hunter, spend time alone with Hunter, and sleep with Hunter.  Sometimes, he even gets overwhelmed and exclaims, "Why does everyone want to be with me?!  I just want some time alone!"  He has a peaceful, yet fun air about him that draws people to him as well as a LOT of patience.  It's so nice when your kids get old enough to help raise the younger ones--not that I am giving them the responsibility of raising their siblings, but that when Robert and I can't get through to one of the younger kids, it's nice to have another personality like Hunter that does it so well!

Pictures before church

Love those blue eyes!

Cute brothers

The other pictures are more handsome, but this is their real personalities.

Things are looking up. At least for today.

Life is overwhelming.  And for me, increasingly so.  Here is how I cheered myself up yesterday.  First, I found these new "De-Motivational" sayings that lightened my heart with their irreverent sarcasm, and then I packed up my camera and went on a looooong walk--probably about 10 miles while Ashton was in preschool.  It was so therapeutic and got me ready for early out Friday with the kids, as well as everything else I am dealing with.  Life is tough, but thank goodness I still love it.

Believe in Yourself . . . Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness pays off now.

PERSEVERANCE:  The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.

PERSPECTIVE:  Less is more.  Unless you're standing next to the one with more.  Then less just looks pathetic.

COMPROMISE:  Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

ELITISM:  It's lonely at the top, bit it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

LONELINESS:  If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone.  And yet you are alone.  So very alone.

GIVING UP:  At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

VICTORY:  Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.

PROBLEMS:  No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.

BLAME:  The secret to success is knowing who to blame for you failures.

FAILURE:  When your best just isn't good enough.

LOSING:   If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Time heals all wounds.  But it usually leaves a pretty big scar.

When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.

CHALLENGES:  I expected times like this--but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

MATURITY:  If you're tired of others looking down on you, then grow the hell up.

DEFEAT:  For every winner, there are dozens of losers.  Odds are, you are one of them.

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.

Please don't tell me to relax - it's only my tension that's holding me together.

And one of my old favorites which always brings a smile to my face:

WISHES:  When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

AND of course this one:

DESPAIR:  It's always darkest, before it goes pitch black.

Pictures from my walking adventure.  Yes indeed, God loves us through the beauty of this world.

Beautiful downtown Farmington Main St.

I would love to know the history of all those who lived in this house.

My fave picture from the day.

Everyone deserves a front porch like this.

So quaint

I found this barn hidden behind an old house.  Love it.

St. State pass over, Farmington

Quite A Girl

Madison turned 13 yesterday and I still can't quite wrap my mind around it.  This year was her year for a family birthday party, but we let her invite her best friend Ashley to come with us.  We went to a new trampoline playground in Kaysville called "Get Air."  The kids (and Robert) had a blast!

Madison and her handsome Daddy

1st week going to church

Hours old

Madison slept this way every time she went to sleep.  Thank goodness she outgrew that!

Widdle lady bug

Look at those chubby cheeks!!

Madison and best friend Ashley 

Madison is a pro at back flips!

Some of the crew jumping together 

Big brother and little brother

Big sister and little sister

Go TigerDog!

Strange shark toy Robert got for her that was probably her favorite present.
Go figure.

New jeans

Beautiful Girl.  13 years old.

Madison is full of life and light.  She is a friend to all and very thoughtful to those in her family.  She has a thankful heart and needs very little to make her happy (as evidenced by the shark toy Robert gave her).  She has a positive and carefree disposition and is creative and energetic.  She tries very hard to choose the right and has already surpassed the little girl I always dreamed of having.  We love you Madison!

Religious and Cultural Elitism

Here is my view on religious and cultural elitism, something that I think about a lot.  Take it or leave it, but don't get angry over it please.

Whenever I see or hear elitism in the church, it seems easy for me to identify that as human nature/culture/pride and not true gospel understanding. It's like fools gold that shines and attracts some who don't really understand what it is they should be shooting for.  I cringe when I hear what I view to be an over-emphasis on our church being "the only true church" and consequently how "sad" it is that others don't have what we have.  Sometimes, I have witnessed an almost mockery of other religions when hearing discussions like this in Gospel Doctrine;  "I can't believe other religions think this!", or "I can't believe they don't know that!"  It makes me uncomfortable, emotionally sitting with the view that others are somehow less valiant if they don't belong to my church.  I am a firm believer that God is no respector of persons and therefore that He loves all of His children equally.  I suppose it ultimately boils down to what is at one's core:  That since I have the truth, I am better than you, or that since I have the truth, I am grateful and full of charity to my fellow humans.  I am reminded of an experience Robert told me that happened on his mission.  A General Authority came to speak to the missionaries, and at one point during his talk, referred to third world countries where people were starving and that the reason for this was because they were here solely to get a body.  This is such a dangerous mentality because it somehow makes rampant starvation more acceptable if we can assign a perfect little box for it to fit into--since there is a "reason" for their suffering, I don't need to worry about helping remedy this situation.  It also serves in subconsciously making those who believe this way of thinking, feel "better than" those who are suffering daily and minute by minute in a most barbaric way.  I have found this same type of reasoning used to explain away many things that make people uncomfortable; blacks having dark skin, blacks not having the priesthood, those who have seemingly easy lives, those who have seemingly hard lives--you name it, people don't like to live with unanswered questions, so they quickly come up with feel-good anecdotes to ease their trepidation and make themselves feel better than THOSE other people.  The proper way to view belonging to what I believe to be God's church, in my opinion, is with humility, a sense of unconditional love and non-judgment of those around us, and with the view that all religions possess some truth and thus deserve our respect.

I feel similarly with the topic of Patriotism.  The people who deem themselves the most "proud" of their country, are sometimes the ones looking down their noses at the way in which others choose to honor their country, as if there is only one way to represent one's love of country.  This to me is not Patriotism, it is arrogance because in fact, none of have chosen where to be born, we simply were born.  I have a tremendous love for my country, but I also have respect for other countries, the people who live there and honor their country as much as I do, and I recognize that if I was born in another country on the Earth, I would have an equal amount of pride in that country.  If I, after much thought, don't agree with a war that is being fought, it definitely does NOT mean I am less patriotic, it means simply that I do not agree with the war we are engaged in.  It doesn't mean I don't support our amazing military, it means that I am a thinking and discerning person and just because my country chooses to go to war, doesn't mean I have to agree wholeheartedly with it.  I also don't necessarily think that all countries want, or are ready for democracy because it is what I have and enjoy and don't think it is up to the U.S. to impose our belief system on them.  Another characteristic of cultural elitism that bothers me is ethnocentrism, which is when value judgments about another culture are made from the perspectives of one's own cultural system. The ethnocentric individual will judge other groups relative to his or her own particular ethnic group or culture, which is very hard NOT to do, but certainly still important to be aware of.   I am a firm believer in attempting to look outside of my own world and trying to see how and why other people think the way they do.  The lyrics of this song by the Indigo Girls also express a sentiment I agree with:

This is my song
Oh God of all the nations
A song of peace
For lands afar and mine

This is my home
The country where my heart is
Here are my hopes
My dreams my holy shrine

But other hearts
In other lands are beating
With hopes and dreams
As true and high as mine

My countries skies
Are bluer than the ocean
And sunlight beams
On clover leaf and pine

But other lands
Have sunlight too and clover
And skies are everywhere
As blue as mine

Oh hear my song
Oh God of all the nations
A song of peace
For their land and for mine

Every human soul has a culture of which to be proud, a past worthy of knowing, foremothers who loved their babies, languages, art, and food of which they are proud. We can still possess a hearty amount of patriotism while nurturing a truly equatable love for all of God’s children.  We can still have faith in and love for our own religion without having to openly discuss the lacking of other religions in order to pump ourselves up.  Faith in our religion is never diminished by respect for another's religion.

Dear Sheri

If you don't remember the process we went through in skipping Elisabeth into 2nd grade, as well as our reasoning for doing so, see this past post:  http://4peanutsandacashew.blogspot.com/2011/10/sweatin-bullets.html


Dear Sheri,
     It is with a gleeful heart that I update you with the news you were so dreading to hear.  You may or may not remember my daughter Elisabeth Flynn who you IQ tested to see if she possessed the cognitive ability to skip into second grade, after missing the deadline of a birthday requirement of September 1 by 11 days.  Your worst nightmare has come true: Elisabeth has not only acclimated to her class, and is on grade level, but according to her teachers, is excelling and in the top tier of her class.  Your parting, extremely condescending last remarks to us were that you "would have to put a note in her permanent record", stating how vehemently you disagreed with placing her in 2nd grade.  How incredibly pompous, insensitive, and condescending that remark was to two parents who you did not know and whose most important priority in life is the well-being of their children.  You severely underestimated both us, and Elisabeth.  It would seem your only hope at this point is that as she progresses into further grades, that you could trade that note in for a smug "I told you so", were she to regress in her progress.  Unfortunately for you, this will not happen because not only is she infinitely smarter than your wise and educated 1 hour observation of her stated, but she has proven that attempting to test cognitive ability of a child in 2, 4-hour testing sessions is ludicrous and in her situation, not indicative at all of her ability.  She was bored and distracted with the testing process, and like we said, had regressed in 1st grade due to not being challenged enough.
     If you did indeed put that letter of strong non-support in her "permanent" record, I would hope that you might have some introspection at this juncture and remove it, as it only points to your inability to correctly assess our daughter and it was extremely offensive to us as her parents.  My guess is, based on the way you treated us, that you wouldn't think of removing it.  If I could write a note on your permanent record, it would read:  "Condescending, insensitive, and arrogant in her treatment of those she is supposed to be helping or working for."  I truly hope that this was just a bad first impression of you that we experienced and that in the future you can improve the way in which you interact with parents who desperately love and care for their children.  Hmmm.  Maybe we do know our children and their abilities after spending their lifetime with them better than an "expert" who knew them for an hour.  And just maybe, the sum total of a person's intelligence can't be necessarily tested.  Especially on a 7 year old.

Sincerely,
Sandra Flynn

**And yes, this letter will be stamped and mailed.

I'm in a bad mood, and it may be permanent . . . and other happier things.

I've been in a bad mood lately.  The worst part about it is that it may just be my real personality.  HAHAHA!  Several months back I read an article (http://articles.latimes.com/2002/feb/20/news/mn-28924) stating that Utah was the state with the highest rate of anti-depressant use, almost double the rate of use of the average state.  Why are so many of us self-medicating?!  You can't tell me that there isn't a major element of the pressure Mormon women feel to be "perfect" mixed into all of this.  This of course will have to be a blog topic for another day because I definitely have a lot to say about this.  But for now, let me just say that reading this article caused me to think about my own use of the anti-depressant Zoloft for the past 5 years.  I came to the conclusion that I did not want to be a life-time user of brain altering medicine without knowing if perhaps I no longer needed it and had been able to work through some of my issues, which of course you will never know unless you "detox" yourself every once in a while.  Well, suffice it to say that I have been angry at the world for about 2 weeks now--the amount of time I have been weened off of my medication.  The thing is, as of now, I really just want to concentrate on facing my issues face to face, without my emotions being dulled, even if that means I may not be as nice a person as I thought I was for the past 5 years.  Or maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit and I'm in a bad mood because people are disappointing and life is tough.

I'm going to try and concentrate on the positive things in my life right now, like the fact that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I love Valentine's Day.  We will be having our annual family "red" dinner, complete with candlelight and red, purple, and pink food.  We also decorated our Valentine sacks yesterday so that Cupid can leave a small gift for each child as well as love notes from each other.  Also, on Saturday Madison and I ran a Valentine's 5K race together.  Kristen, my sister, also ran it with us, or should I say waaaaaay in front of us.  :)  I really enjoy doing things with my kids, one on one.

Me and Mads before our race

Me and Krissy after the race

Madison and best friend Ashley after the race

Sunday I decided to try a little photo experiment with
glitter.  I really like some of the results!

My little glitter girl

Making Valentine sacks.  Yes, Christian still loves this tradition.

Notice the tiger and leopard heart stickers she is using.
Perfect for a "tiger-dog".

A Smattering of Motherisms

I found this list entitled, "Things Our Mothers Taught Us" and found it entertaining so I thought I would share.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why!"

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

**My favorites are numbers 1, 5, 7, and 20.  And I'm not going to say how many of these I have said to my own children...

And a humorous little gem my own mother taught me:


*If you are talking to someone who is cross-eyed and wondering which eye to look at, LOOK AT THE ONE THAT IS LOOKING AT YOU!!"  bahahaha

Because chores are always easier when snorkel gear is donned.

Ashton has an imaginary friend whose name is "Volcanoes".  This friend helps him with his chores, is blamed for things Ashton doesn't want to get in trouble for, and has the super cool power of shooting hot lava out of his hands when someone is mean.  Awesome.  Also, as of today, "Volcanoes" is sick and resting comfortably at his ghost house which is located next door to Ashton's room. (except there is no room next to Ashton's room)

And lastly, one of my all time favorite Saturday Night Live commercial spoofs.  Pure awesomeness.  And if I ever wear jeans like this, please shoot me and put me out of my misery.

Click on link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/10333/saturday-night-live-mom-jeans

Trip to Spokane

Me, Hunter, and my Mom went to visit my sister and her kids in Spokane, WA for 4 days.  It was such a nice break from my life here in Utah, and so nice to spend time with just Hunter.  We ate amazing food, had lots and LOTS of inappropriate conversation, stayed up waaaay too late, figured out the world's problems, went to a trampoline playground, went to Chuck E Cheese with the kids, took naps, went to see the movie "Puss in Boots", and laughed our heads off.  We had an amazing time!  The only thing that would have made it better was if my other sister Kristen could have come.  Here are some pictures from our trip:

Britton and Hunter.  Best Cousins.

Becky, me, and my Mom.  How I wish my other sister Kristen could have come too!!!

Cousin sleepovers are the best

I think I may have a humpback.

The 4 Curtis Peanuts

Me and Hunts

This is wrong on so many levels.  First of all, I can't stand pictures of the back of me.

Secondly, Becky is wetting her pants mid air because of recently pushing her 4th baby out

along with the combination of jumping.  Third, the nazi worker there ruined my 

concentration right before I jumped so I just BARELY made it into the pit.  And lastly,

why are Becky's legs spread so far apart?!  AHAHAHA!

Becky's son, Devin

Becky trying to rescue Hunter's root beer that had fallen.  It
of course had to be a stealth mission because of the nazi
people working there.  Mission accomplished!

Daughter, Olivia.  As you can tell, she is BURSTING with personality!

Channing, aka Pudge

Beautiful Olivia

Britton

Hunter and Grandma

My sisters and I are VERY opinionated and strong-willed so suffice it to say, we have all had our ups and downs over the years.  But I love them both dearly and am so thankful for all I have learned from them!  And I wouldn't change all of our stubbornness and strong opinions for anything--we all take after my MOM!