Grouchy Panties

Good Morning Merry Sunshine!

Favorite pictures from Christmas

Five Little Elves

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My Everything

Today is me and Robert's official 14th anniversary.  December 8, 1994 we were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple for time and all eternity.  It was a vibrant winter morning and I can remember the intensity of emotions I felt on that day; excitement, joy, love, accomplishment. . .  I was marrying my Prince, the person that surpassed any dream I had ever had, and he loved me equally!

     We have been together now, longer than we have been apart because we started dating when we were 17.  That's 18 years!!  I can honestly say he is more beautiful, amazing, nobel, interesting, wise, and endearing than ever to me.  I am excited to see his face every morning, and every day when he returns from work.  He is my example, my truest love, my handsome Prince, my everything.

Here is an excerpt from a poem that I have always loved by Elizabeth Barrett Browning that has always represented some of my feelings for my Robert:

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith . . .

I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life;

and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

I am the luckiest.

Sunday Pictures

Yes, I know I am addicted to my camera.  Or maybe I'm just addicted to my cute kids!  Either way, here are some pictures I took before church. (and one Robert took of me and Ash-Bear)

Madison

Madison was recently diagnosed as mildly dyslexic as well as having ADD.  Madison is gifted in creativity and sports, but has struggled with certain subjects at school.  She had the assignment of memorizing all fifty states and their capitals, AND had to spell them all correctly.  Madison was so overwhelmed with the concept, that she would often cry while we studied them with her.  Robert and I wondered what we could do for her that would motivate her to continue with a happier attitude and since she loves sports, we thought we would get her a trophy IF she got a 100% on the test.  Well, today she took it and guess what?!!  She did it!  We are so proud of her!  Having talents is wonderful, but succeeding at something that is extremely difficult for you is something to be even more proud of!  YEAH for Madison!!!

Happy Sunday!

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Pay Day

Today was one of those big paydays your kids give you that can sometimes be few and far between.  This morning, Christian received an award called the Presidential Leadership & Citizenship Award.  Since he is my first child to enter Junior High, and since he is frequently recognized for his academic accomplishments, I really had no idea that this was such a big deal.  One boy and one girl from 7-9th grade were honored and they had to be nominated by all of their teachers to receive this award.  The teacher that presented Christian with his award said things like how incredibly positive and happy he was and how he was always looking out for others and trying to help his peers understand their assignments.  

     I couldn't help but reflect on the journey that I had been on with Christian that led to this point.  Christian, my precious first, was such a trial in the beginning!  He screamed  all day, everyday until he was about 4.  He was rarely happy and always frustrated.  He was always overwhelmed in group settings and his preschool teacher recommended he be held back and not start kindergarten because of his lack of social skills.  Could this be the same child that was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder just 2 years ago?!  The same child that was being recognized today for being such a happy and positive influence on others and having such an impact on his peers?  I had such a hard time not tearing up, but I tried my best not to embarrass him.  My Dad was able to come too, and that meant such much to the both of us!  As much as I would like to think it was partially me that brought him to this point, I know it wasn't (okay, maybe a little!).  It is the nobility of Christian's spirit, his obedience to the commandments of God, and in return, Heavenly Father's blessings being poured out on him. So next time I am in the car with Ashton crying, Elisabeth screaming for something, Madison and Hunter fighting, and Christian yelling at them all to stop, I will be able to pull from this great experience today and know that it IS all worth it.  So, thank you Christian, and thank you Heavenly Father for this wonderful "payday"!

I've attached some pictures of Christian through the years!

I am . . .

Juliann tagged me so here are my answers to "I am . . ."

I am

I am:  intuitive, wise( I try)

I know:  what unconditional love feels like, what heaven on Earth can be like.

I want:  a Master's Degree in Social Work, to do humanitarian work abroad, and for my children to be joyful.

I have:  a strong body.

I dislike:  people that appear too happy and perfect, and people that think they've got it all figured out and are judgmental of others.

I miss:  being just me and Robert, newlyweds at BYU.

I feel:  frequently overwhelmed.

I hear: my baby crying.

I smell:  a fresh pooh patty. (from Ashton)

I crave:  time by myself and SILENCE, having great accomplishments outside and inside my home, being in nature.

I cry:  when I feel judged, misunderstood, or overwhelmed.

I search:  for truth (no matter the source), for harmony in my relationships, knowledge

I wonder:  why so many have to suffer, and why my children always seem to have "early-out" days, and "teacher prep" days, why Heavenly Mother is so taboo.

I regret:  that I don't have a greater capacity to do and accomplish.

I love: my Robert, my children, my parents and siblings, photography, my bed, my home, my freedom, my personal space.

I worry:  about my kids making poor choices, about what they will be exposed to, about getting in a hideous car accident, about getting cancer, going bald, suffering and dying and then Robert remarrying, about my children being harmed, about other people's problems, the list goes on and on and on . . .

I remember:  my awful high school years, not seeing Robert for 2 1/2 years, all the amazing memories we had before he left.

I dance:  to make my kids laugh.

I don't:  like hearing or touching after I have gone to sleep, I don't like confrontation, LDS authors that aren't apostles, I don't like ugly children, or male genitalia on animals.

I argue: the opposing viewpoint whenever possible, and for the underdog.

I write:  well.

I win:  only when Robert concedes because he feels sorry for me.

I lose:  at everything.

I wish:  I could handle having more children, that I could handle stress better, and that I looked more ethnic.

I listen:  to other people's feelings and thoughts and ponder and respect them (unless they're idiots).

I can usually be found:  running errands, doing homework with my kids, picking up other people's messes, being on the computer, exercising.

I am scared:  of the dark, dying young, small/crammed-with-people spaces, jumping at great heights, being controlled, deep/dark water, bad things happening to those around me.

I need:  time by myself, to have hobbies, to have friends, Robert, frequent naps

I forget:  only when I am really frazzled.

Now let's hear about you!!

My Soapbox

     Last night, I took Christian and Hunter on a date to see the African Children's Choir (www.africanchildrenschoir.com).  They were the most beautiful children with the brightest spirits I have ever seen!  Most of these children (all between 7 and 11 yrs. old) are orphans and participating in this choir is a way for them to pay for their education and living expenses.  

     In Northern Uganda alone, the German Red Cross estimates that over 150,000 orphans are starving to death!  There have been over 9.5 million refugees and millions of people massacred in the genocides of Rwanda, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Darfur.  I think that because these people live such different lives than us, and on the other side of the world, and maybe even because they are black, it is hard to believe that they are exactly like us.  The children that are dying from starvation every day are the equivalent to OUR children, MY children, dying.  The mothers mourn their children's deaths as we would, and when rape is used as a method of war, as it is in the Congo, the women feel scarred just as deeply as we would if that happened to us.

     This is one of the reasons that I feel that the war in Iraq is less than noble in purpose.  There are genocides that are going on TODAY and have been going on for many years, but our country has been slow in even acknowledging that it is occurring!  We say that we are fighting for the freedom of others in Iraq, but if it weren't for the oil benefits to us, I wonder if we would feel the same.  This is not to say that the soldiers are not brave and noble in their intentions, but I do feel that we went into Iraq on false pretenses.  Why aren't we doing more for the people of Africa?!  I desperately want my children to grow up and know of the vast world around them and that it is up to them to help those in need.  I was so impressed that Hunter, who is 7, was spellbound during the entire 2 hour performance which included singing, dancing, and a brief history of what they have endured and continue to endure.  At the end, each child introduced themselves and said what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Without exception, they all wanted to be lawyers, doctors, or teachers.  These children were the essence of innocence, beauty, strength, and hope.  I felt honored to be in the same room as them and plan to continue doing as much as I can, with my family, to continue helping them.  If they can live life with such joy, surely I can too!

Click on link below to see video of choir:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-kM1L5BCvA