Madison at the Jazz Game

     Last week I was able to go on a date with Madison to a Jazz game.  Madison is a HUGE Jazz fan,  knows all the players and loves to wear her personalized Jazz jersey everyday after school.  She loves to practice her famous signature in case someday she is a well-known basketball star and someone will ask for her autograph.  While we were at the Jazz game, the Jazz dancers came on the floor for their half-time performance.  It was some kind of country theme and they were dressed with short (REALLY short) jean shorts and skimpy shirts and that's when Madison turned to me and said, "I'm embarrassed for them.  Are you?"  Wow, I thought.  We should all feel embarrassed that this is what some women feel they have to wear to be attractive and it IS sending a message to my 11 year old daughter--and I highly RESENT that.  This really got me thinking that in spite of how far society has come in recognizing everyone as equal, women are still objectified and thus their value is minimalized.   Many women have even come to accept and thrive on this!  I was forced to have the talk with Madison about how a lot of people unfortunately value girls on their bodies and not on their abilities or intelligence and how unfair that was.  She was genuinely shocked that that was what some people thought about women.  I have also had to try to explain to her recently why there is no scouting program for girls (she loves camping and the outdoors) and why there was no football team for her to be on.  She has several times expressed how she wished she was a boy because they have so much more fun--Robert is the scoutmaster and so she sees him doing things on a weekly basis with the boys.  Achievement Days, which has only come into existence in the past several years and is for girls her age,  is only twice a month and consists of activities that don't interest her as much; baking, pedicures, journaling, etc.
     The more I have thought about Madison's observation at the Jazz game, the more angry I have become over the past week.  Women today are conditioned to think that sexuality is power, when in reality it is exploitation and results in their value being lessened.  Madison's next comment was, "Do those girls do that because they can't play basketball very well?"  Why are women still judged according to their bodies and looks, when men are judged more on their abilities?  How can I teach my girls to value talents and their individuality when all of society screams immorality, materialism, being thin, flawless, and beautiful?  It seems that there is this mold that women are confined to and it starts very young.  Even in Relief Society, there is an assumption that most women enjoy crafts, sewing, cooking, etc.  So where do you fit if you don't like these things?  And how do I teach her not to value herself on her appearance, although much of society will?  Why is it that men AND women are so hard on women?  I know what it feels like to see another woman and think, "Is that what I'm supposed to be like?"  At that moment, insecurity and doubt takes over and you question who you really are, and it doesn't feel very good.  I don't want that for her; I want Madison to know it's okay to play with the boys at recess and love basketball and wear her Jazz jersey.  But am I supposed to conform her as well to the boundaries of what society says a woman should be?  I'm conflicted.  She hates doing her hair--should I force her?  If she had it her way, she would wear her sports clothes everyday to school.  How do I encourage femininity without subsequently causing her to feel shame about who she really wants to be?  That's not to say that she is not feminine, however.  She still plays with her High School Musical dolls, she loves to go shopping, she is very good at taking care of Ashton, and she has many girlfriends.  She just happens to also love sports, being outdoors, and rough housing.  How I wish I could shield her from the very near realization that she will be objectified by some men, and judged on her beauty rather than her ability!
      It makes me so mad that women in the media feel showing their bodies off is "empowering" when in fact it is doing the complete opposite.  When men look at those pictures, they aren't thinking how powerful or intelligent that woman is!  It makes me feel helpless to see the advertisements, magazines, movies, tv programs, and music that bombards our children with WRONG messages.  It makes me wonder if my voice will be loud enough.  Will my children be able to hear me and those who love them saying that they are more than a body, and that their value is infinite?  And why, after all these years, are women still viewed as "less than"?  Will my voice be loud enough?

A Week In Pictures

Christian gets his braces off!  My handsome boy.

Krissy and Zack get their endowments.  They will be sealed on May 3!

Christian runs his first 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles) coming in 4th in his age category!  He got to run it with Aunt Krissy.

                                                                                  

Ashton loves Madison.  

Photo shoot of Krissy and Zack.  I had sooo much fun!  

The joys of motherhood . . .   

Spring Break--I made it through, but barely

Here are some of the things we were able to do during our Spring Break:

*Went to the aquarium

*Spent a couple of nights in Park City.  We were able to see the gorgeous castles Zack (Krissy's husband) is building there.  We are also trying to update our condo there, so we had a lot of work to do.  We deep cleaned, got new bedding, bought a flat screen for the master bedroom, measured for shutters, and will be soon getting new showers, countertops, and a bedroom set for the master bedroom.  It was built in the '70s so it was in desperate need of updates.  Because it is in a rental pool, it has been absolutely thrashed as well as being dated.

*We went on a tour of the Utah State Capital given by my Grandpa.  It was fun to see him in his element and learn so many things we didn't know!  The kids think we should earthquake proof our house the same way they did the capital.

*To motivate the kids to behave and not fight, I gave them a reward system wherein everyday they had jobs to do, including watching Ashton, and if they did this without complaining, then they each earned a toy at the end of the week.  This really helped with the 3 oldest especially and there was very little fighting between them.

*After living here almost 5 years, we finally purchased a swingset and slide for the backyard!  Too bad the weather has been so bad lately.

Yes, there were some fun times to be had during Spring Break but there was also, the not-so-good times.  Elisabeth and Ashton fought, screamed, demanded, and cried their way through the whole week.  I seriously thought I was going to lose it.  I really don't know what to do about Elisabeth always feeling like the whole world is against her!  She is very demanding of my time and attention, and nothing is ever enough.  Of course she has other amazing traits, but I feel completely drained from her negative traits--any suggestions from any of my readers would be much appreciated.  Ashton is pretty typical for a 3 year old, he's just gotten so strong-willed lately and has power struggles with everyone ALL day long.  Okay.  Enough of the pity party.  I just need a few days to recover from all the "family togetherness"--just in time for SUMMER BREAK.   AHHHHHHH!!!!  I'm in WAY over my head!!!!

No Eggs For Ashton--An Easter Story