“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” (Albert Einstein) My son Christian had this quote on his phone and I stole it because I really liked it. Recently I wrote a post on how damaging it was to me for many years to feel like who I truly was should be different. It is incredibly stifling to try over and over to be something you are not, inevitably failing every time and feeling shame because of it. Some of my children are brilliant when it comes to math, and science, others in art, being a good friend, and in athletics. Naturally, as a parent, knowing the value of education, you hope and maybe even expect that all of your children will excel academically because society (and maybe us) has decided that that is part of what defines "success". However, when you have a child that tries for years and in spite of all resources of help being available to them, still does not like academics or just does not do well in the mainstream academic world, it needs to just be okay with us. I have learned this with my daughter Madison. Every child I have is so immensely different. Each came to me with different strengths and weaknesses, talents and trials. This week, as I went to the junior high to pick up Madison's schedule and get her school picture taken, I was overcome with the beauty of what her particular genius was. Madison is innately joyful, positive, fun, creative, comfortable in her own skin, confident, she draws all types of people to her and they all love her, she is empathetic, energetic, and makes amazing home movies. Sometimes I secretly wish I could travel around in her pocket or be her for a day because her life perspective is so appealing to me. And while she will probably continue to struggle in many of her classes just to get by, when I saw her confidence, charisma, and that everyone that passed her in the halls knew her and liked her, I was so proud. I felt a conviction within me to never squash the strong sense of self-value she has in herself in order to feed my own ego of what she "should" be. After all, she has already accomplished what I still lack in some areas, simply because we have different gifts.
Today my youngest child started kindergarten. He has had his own hardships already in his young life. He seems to struggle a bit more than most in getting along with his peers and up until this point, has had absolutely no interest in learning so he is somewhat behind. But I am excited to be in on the adventure of finding what his particular genius is and how I can help him develop his interests and talents. In my view, people are always the happiest and most successful when they are a version of their own best self.
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| Ashton right before going to his first day of kindergarten |
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| Madison, being Madison |
4 comments:
Oh you said that well. I have nothing to add but thank you.
That is a great picture of Madison showing her enthusiasm for life. Campbell said she wants to "play with that boy who is holding that pretty cat."
I needed to hear that quote for me... Because just yesterday I had determined to be more successful and strong in my career pursuits. It was my first day of graduate school and I was imagining how I could go on to do great things. Then the very same day I forgot to pick up Brook from camp. I remembered 2.5 hrs. Late! How could I expect to be successful at anything when I can't even remember to pick up my own child? Not 15 min. Late 2.5 hrs.! I was in tears with inward pointed rage that I was never going to amount to anything. I think all of my kids have confidence that surpasses mine.
All of society is based on a fixed value system that allows only two groups to be happy-those who are at the top of that value system and those who live life by their own set of values. I think the secret to happiness in this life is balancing these two sets of values. I am so glad our kids have the gifts they do and I especially love your gifts--you are a genius! And the best day of your life was realizing you were a fish and didn't need to climb trees, thus freeing you to be yourself and swim!
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