IT IS NOT OKAY! Not even a little.

One of the things that makes me absolutely livid and extremely concerned is the carefree attitude with which many are having babies out of wedlock.  I am not referring to those who make a mistake bringing a child into the world before they are ready, give it up for adoption or spend the rest of their lives making it right with the child.  I am talking about the lackadaisical attitude with which spirits are brought into this world by people who aren't married and have no intention to be married in the near future.  I feel like I want to shout from the rooftops, "IT IS NOT OKAY!"  Hollywood is of course one of the culprits that is spreading this idea when they choose to have babies with whatever girlfriend or boyfriend of the moment they have and portray sheer happiness with no regrets.  Unfortunately, it is not just Hollywood who displays this nonchalant attitude.  There is little to no shame anymore in our world as well when girls get pregnant and the boys are no where to be seen.  Many of you might have seen the recent story in the news of the school in Memphis where 1 in 4 girls at the school were pregnant!  A whopping 72% of African-American babies born in the US are born to unwed mothers.  Unbelievable!
  
Here are some more interesting facts I found.  Nearly 40 percent of babies born in the United States in 2007 were delivered by unwed mothers, according to data released last month by the National Center for Health Statistics. The 1.7 million out-of-wedlock births, of 4.3 million total births, marked a more than 25 percent jump from five years before.

"I wish people spent as much time planning when to get pregnant, with whom, under what circumstances as they do planning their next vacation," said Sara Brown, the CEO and founding director of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "The stigma [of out-of-wedlock births] has eroded, and these numbers made me feel perhaps it's disappeared altogether."


Some may say, "How dare you imply that an unexpected pregnancy should lead to marriage? You are simply out of touch with modern culture."  That may be.  But it also means that modern culture is out of touch with the needs of children.  Some researchers identify out-of-wedlock births as the chief cause for the increasing stratification and inequality of American life, the first step that casts children into an ever more rigid caste system.  Studies have found that children born to single mothers are vastly more likely to be poor, have behavioral and psychological problems, drop out of high school, and themselves go on to have out-of-wedlock children.  This has a direct negative affect on my children which makes this my business as well as extremely angry.  The problems that out of wedlock births are causing has absolutely no end in sight and will inevitably get much worse.  I worry about the moral quality of the people my children will rub shoulders with throughout their life.  I worry about the "everything's okay" attitude that is so pervasive in society today that it will cloud my children's views.  I am sad for the babies being born into these circumstances.  It's not fair.  And it's not right.  Why don't more people consider adoption?  Or birth control for that matter?

As if this wasn't enough of a problem, I worry about the effects the high divorce rate has on children.  Divorce irrevocably changes who they are.  Forever.  Can they still be wonderful,  happy, good people?  Of course.  But it still alters the course of their life and gives them the added baggage of trust issues, abandonment issues, and forces them to grow up before they would have otherwise.

And since we're on the subject, do you know what else makes me mad?  Married people having babies simply because they can -- not because they have prepared, thought about it at great lengths, and have stability and a plan for the future to offer.  In my opinion, a child should not be born with a job to do; meaning, a job to bring the parents closer, or to help one of the parents "mature".  Each one of my children was planned (fancy that!), deeply desired, and is incredibly loved and cherished.  How I wish every child could have this!

Here is my recent attempt to counteract the world; we had a family night on the importance of holding to the rod and how to resist temptation.  (Notice Ashton's cheery disposition below)

Our recent family night on Lehi's dream.  They all drew their own interpretation
of the dream.

Ashton being Ashton.

Robert's and Hunter's rendition