Mind Your P's and Q's

I think it goes without saying that manners and the art of being polite are not valued or taught as much to our children anymore.  These are the days of entitlement and spoiled rotten kids (and adults for that matter).  Last Monday, we had a family night on manners;  how to properly introduce yourself (eye contact and a firm handshake), table etiquette, and always remembering to say please and thank you.  Robert poignantly observed that manners are simply a way of thinking about another's feelings-- which I had never thought of in that way before, but I LOVE this new definition.  Being polite is just putting yourself in another person's place and asking how you would want to be treated if the tables were turned.

Here are some pet peeves of mine regarding a lack of manners:

1.  Just because I say "yes" to a calling at church does not mean that it isn't a sacrifice every week or that I always enjoy teaching everybody's "little darlings"--as a matter of fact, I rarely do.  An expression of THANK YOU is always appreciated and really should be expected on a somewhat regular basis.  The amount of time and sacrifice that goes into Robert's calling as scoutmaster, for example, should warrant a hell of a lot more gratitude than it does.  (This is me talking, not him).

2.  It is RUDE and thoughtless to be late on a regular basis.  I know people, who shall remain nameless, who must plan on being late because they have never once been on time!  It is incredibly selfish and arrogant to walk in late to a planned event.

3.  Along the same lines as #1, just because I am a Mom, doesn't mean that running kids to lessons or friends' houses, cleaning the house, helping with homework, doing laundry etc. is enjoyable or should be expected without a thank you or the occasional reciprocation of favors.  I frequently remind my children that I am not their servant and that cleaning up is just as "fun" for me as it is for them.

4.  Children who are spoiled and entitled.  I DO NOT think that having "things" necessarily equates to a spoiled child.  It is the not having to work for what they get that results in an entitled attitude.  This is something I feel very strongly about and so if my kids want something, they must do chores additional to their regular ones to earn whatever it is that they want.

5.  People who talk about money in public.  It is rude to divulge your income, how much this or that costed, the amount in your retirement portfolio, or constantly refer to expensive brands of cars or clothes.  It is also very rude to ASK direct questions to someone else about these things.

6.  Always respect another person's opinion, regardless of if you agree or disagree with it.

7.  Learn how to be a good listener.  This requires a person to stop what it is that they are doing, whether it be a project, laundry, or the internet and make eye contact.  It requires concentrating on what the person is saying and not letting your mind wander.  In our age of technology, this can be particularly hard to teach our children, and to do ourselves, but nonetheless is very important.

8.  If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP!  My kids got in trouble for this one today.  It boils down to rudeness, to get something out and leave it for someone else to clean up.  I often wonder what would happen if I didn't clean for a whole week.  Kids will not appreciate what you do,  unless they have to do what you do.  If they have to do their own laundry, then when I occasionally do it for them, they are magically THANKFUL.  Hmmm.  Funny how that works!

And that's all for now.  And you're welcome.  And thank you for reading.