I found this blog post interesting and reflective of many of my own thoughts. I think that we, especially in Utah, sometimes live the "culture" of Mormonism in addition to the doctrine of the LDS church. This results in added stress, responsibilities, and confusion. I also added some of my own thoughts to the list below.
"In our pining for greater gender equality in the church, we feminists are often told that we cannot change the doctrine, that God’s will cannot bend to the whims and wishes of His children, and that our understanding is too small and dim to understand the lofty things of eternity, so we should probably just accept it on faith and move on.
And blast it, maybe those critics are all spot on.
So here, friends, are some changes that could be made with no doctrinal ramifications:"
1) Equalize funds and funding sources for YW and YM programs.
2) Allow women access to all callings that do not require the Priesthood, such as ward clerk and Sunday School President, and allow women to have oversight of a ward’s finances.
3)Have something for the YW that equals an Eagle Court of Honor.
4) Include more women’s voices in lesson materials, church publications, and General Conference addresses. Okay--maybe not General Conference addresses unless they are more like Sheri Dew.
5) Find a way to incorporate the General Women’s conference as a fully recognized session of General Conference, at the same level of importance as the Priesthood Session.
6) Give women stewardship over women’s sexuality. See this post: http://4peanutsandacashew.blogspot.com/2010/07/another-big-hmmmmmm-see-previous-blog.html
7) Eradicate teachings that men are incapable of controlling their own sexuality, and that women are responsible for reining in the sexual temptations of both men and women. Of course!
8 ) Allow married women in every ward to file tithing under their own name, regardless of their husband’s membership or level of activity.
9) Allow worthy women younger than 25 to go through the temple even if they aren't getting married yet or serving a mission.
10) Make the Church Handbook of Instructions available to all members, not just leaders.
11) Standardize mission requirements for men and women - same length of service, and same age of eligibility.
12) Use women’s honorific titles with the same regularity that we use men’s. If we insist on “President” Packer, we should insist on “President” Beck.
13) Incorporate inclusive language. Instead of singing “God will force no man to heaven,” we can sing “God will force no one to heaven.” (See Hymn #240.) Instead of talking about mankind, we can talk about humankind. Help your fellow men and women instead of just your fellow men. Easy fixes.
14) Make sure every meetinghouse has baby changing stations in ALL restrooms, and adequate facilities for nursing mothers.
15) Ensure that male and female leaders are present in every meeting that will affect the entire ward.
16) Abolish the practice of many wards to ask for the husband’s permission before extending a calling to the wife, but never asking permission from the wife before extending a calling to the husband. Instead have them come together for all callings extended. This has happened to me before and I found it very offensive.
17)The awards for the Primary-aged children are not balanced either. Cub Scouts get so many awards (patches, beads, cheers, ceremonies…) while the girls get nothing that is tangible. The Achievement Day girls have activities twice per month while their boy peers have activities every week. My daughter is often jealous that we have pack meetings and she has nothing like this for her.
To my knowledge, none of these changes have to do with doctrine; only with changing what has always been done for no apparent reason in this day and age, and should maybe be thought about and changed. They are not threatening. Every ward tends to do things differently, but these are some of the things I have experienced in the many wards I have been a member of. Neglecting thinking about or changing these things is causing tangible harm to many men and women by reinforcing unhealthy stereotypes and setting a standard for inequality that some member and non-members may judge us for. There are some that may be offended by my desire to always think and question, but this is who I am and this is the way I live my life and I make no apologies. I have a strong testimony of the church but feel it is always important to question the status quo. Is there anything non-doctrinal you would change?
5 comments:
Wow, I wonder if the brethren feel pretty threatened to have such an opinionated "sister" with such TRUE and GOOD points!!!!!!!! My GOSH, you hit the nail on the head, again. I have been wondering these things myself, and you brought up points I consciously didn't know about, but it makes sense now. Who knows why we can't be ward clerks or go on full two year missions at 19...oh, I know why!!! It's because women can't be left alone with men, such as during tithing settlement when the clerk is there after hours with the bishop and his counselors. Also, because men can't control their ravenous sexual appetites, I believe this is the reason why women must wait an additional two years to go on missions...that, and also because they want us to REALLY make a valiant effort at trying to find their eternal companion to multiply and replenish the earth with first and foremost, and if you can't, a mission is a last resort for a woman, when no prospects of marriage come to the forefront. And that's my personal opinion.
I think my head is going to explode today. Why? Because I have wondered every single one of these situations before...and then wondered...WHY????? I could throw myself into a complete panic attack over it, I swear. A lot of those things have caused me a significant amount of stress and dissatisfaction, to say the least. It's difficult, though, because no one likes to talk about things like this - or listen to me talk about them.
First, a comment on Kristen's comment. A mission is not a last resort for a young woman when no propsects of marrige come to the forefront. It's the cream of the crop (females) that choose to go on missions. Then they come home and have everything- the self-esteem, gospel knowledge, strength, friends, and memories to last a lifetime. They have exibited tremendous faith in leaving their comfort zone. They are valiant, beautiful. Look at Julia and Corrine...and Rebecca. The church is much more supportive of young women going on missions now than they were 30 years ago. I have no doubt that I would have chosen to go on a mission if I was young and living in these times because now it IS an option. This is a prime example of how priorities and policies DO change and the church IS responsive.
I have no doubt that some of these examples that you listed will change, because in many cases, they are not doctrinal. It never ceases to amaze me at how responsive and sensitive the church is on subjects such as addictions, support of victims of abuse, addressing pornography, encouraging young women to get their educations, divorce, and gender issues. Not to mention the Perpetual Educational Fund. Our church has FAR surpassed any other church in addressing modern day concerns world wide, not just here in the U.S. Just like in Joseph Smith's time, the policies and procedures are evolving and have made more strides than any other church. It is evolutionary in many ways, and that is okay with me. My life has been full of promise, full of opportunity and so enriched because of the gospel, not in spite of it. If I have not achieved something in life it is not because of the church, it is because of ME not realizing that I can do it. Look at your Dad. Think of what he would have been if he had not been introduced to the church. I would have not married him so you would not have come into this family. No other institution in the world can even come close to the truth of the gospel, it's achivements in helping EACH individual come back to our heavely home. Look at the big picture and realize the miracle of it all. We really do have it all! And yes, someday we may have the blessed opportunity of being ward clerk. And I'm serious! I love you, Sandy.
Mom, that's great that you feel that way about women going on missions as being the cream of the crop, as I'm sure they are all wonderful sweet sisters, but I'm pretty sure the "brethren" don't have the same pattern of thinking as you. I've been to BYU. I KNOW. You didn't address the fact that women can't go on missions at 19 or go for the full two years either. I'm still standing my ground on this one as girls go on missions when marriage isn't on the forefront. They don't emphasize women going on missions because we're supposed to gird our loins with babies and drop out of college so we can support our husbands going to school. There are VERY few women who would choose to go on a mission over a marriage proposal. Becky went on a mission, but also knew all along she was marrying Neal. She was a different story. Multiply and replenish the earth!!! That's our motherly duty!!!!
Very, very interesting. I always love to read yours and Kristen's posts and I often wonder if you two consider me close-minded and/or naive as some of the issues you raise really don't bother me at all. I guess that is the beauty of life--that we are all unique in our thinking and processes.
As always, great thought provoking post.
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