I have tried to run my whole life, "tried" being the word of emphasis. I can remember being about 3 years old and running with my Dad around the BYU track when he was a student there and the love of the outdoors and using my body has stayed with me my whole life. With the exception of a few short years during high school, I have always been unequivocally average at running, and now more recently with biking. But I have never really done it to excel at it, I do it because I have found that using my body in physically hard ways is intrinsically tied to being in tune with my spirit. When I am in the rhythm of hiking, running, biking, etc. is when I must force my spirit to persevere when my body is tired and hurts. It is during these times that I feel both the weakest, and the strongest and the closest to Heavenly Father. Here is one of the many lessons running and biking have taught me.
The other day while running in 100 degree heat and suffering immensely because a noon run was the first opportunity that day I had to get out and run, two thoughts crossed my mind. The first happened as I was running up a hill and another runner passed me with seeming ease. I thought, "Wow. I really stink at this--they are so much better than me." The second thought occurred to me only a few minutes later as I was the one passing a runner that was slower than me and I thought to myself, "Yay! I'm doing really good!" Both of these thoughts happened during the same run, and since then I have thought a lot about comparisons and the effect they have on us as well as others. The truth is, that both of these thoughts were most likely inaccurate, although I will never really know. In life, it is sometimes hard to tell how we are doing unless we look around and compare ourselves with others. The problem and subsequent danger is that we do not know what it has taken them to get to that place or what is precluding them in that moment from performing at their highest ability, and so comparing ourselves to them will inevitably result in feelings of either inadequacy or pride. So maybe we seem to be doing better than someone else in the race, but maybe they have overcome a pulled muscle or other injury, started later than us, or simply are not as good at running, but much better than us in other areas of their life. Who knows whether the runner that passed me just started her run and therefore had a lot more energy than me, or maybe she was just plain more gifted than me? Perhaps someone that seems much better than us at biking has been doing it their whole life, has a better bike than us, more encouragement, has had more time for practice or their body is just made better for that use than ours is. Who knows? Either way, putting some sort of judgment on them in relation to ourselves to gauge how we are doing is most likely always flawed and doesn't lead us to achieve our own personal best. And whether we are behind someone else or ahead of another, shouldn't we all just cheer each other on, giving each other the benefit of the doubt that we are doing the best with what we or another have been given? Shouldn't we all strive to look only on our own hearts, desires, abilities, gifts, trials, mistakes and decipher what our own personal best is? And maybe like my high school years, when all I had to think about was myself, along with the fact that my body was smaller, and younger, and all I had was time, we have times where excelling comes easier. Or maybe, symbolically, I am in fact better now although I am much slower because I somehow determinedly fit running and biking into my life with 5 children, my body is bigger and older and the outcome doesn't matter as much as the exercise of will between my body and spirit. I guess I could choose to see it either way. So if you are ever running or biking and you pass a girl that looks like me, I hope we both choose to look straight ahead, thinking of our own journey of where we came from and where we are going and give each other the benefit of the doubt that we are each doing our best.
4 comments:
I'm so glad that we have been able to exercise together for the past few years. I know it comes and goes in waves when our schedules actually meet up, but when they do, I am genuinely grateful to be able to be spending time doing something that I love with one of my favorite people in the world. Your energy motivates me. I admire how you make sure to make exercise a priority in your life amongst all the other things going on and having five children. You of all people, have every excuse in the world to put exercise on the back burner, but have continued diligently to train for races, ride with dad, and go to the gym on a regular basis. It really is inspiring to me. I agree that exercise is as much of a mental and spiritual thing as it is physical. Some people will never realize that and therefore think it is obsessive or extreme in thought, but to me it's the ultimate game of "mind over matter". It's amazing to see what the body can and will do and hold up to.
Sandy,
Believe it or not I actually remember you running beside me on that and several days. Who would have guessed that 35 years and a multitude of life's events later we would still be exercising together. What a pleasure it is to me to ride with you and Kristen. You continue to be my favorite oldest daughter. Dad
I like what you posted on Facebook--"Don't let the world define you, define yourself". It is so easy to spiral into depression or elivate yourself into pride depending on who you compare yourself too. Everyone on this planet has the potential to be exceptional human being each offering something that nobody else can. We all need to be grateful for what we have and share it with the world. Together we can build paradise. Alone we just fill psych wards!
This post had such perfect timing for me to read. As I have been watching the Olympics I find myself looking at their bodies and judging my own against theirs. Which is really not fair for so many reasons. Body Image has always been a struggle but I'm learning more and more that it isn't just my trial but the majority of women and men for that matter. There is always something we can pick at and do otherwise we wouldn't continue to work hard, grow and improve ourselves.
Looking at an Olympian and seeing their body in no way can I scrutinize my own. Most of them haven't had multiple children. They spend their entire day working on themselves to become better and stronger. They deserve those bodies.
So I will remember your advice and just be grateful that I found the time and will power to get on my treadmill today. :)
You are pretty amazing!
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