Approval Seeking Behavior… If you ask me, this is where many of our challenges start. When you are too concerned with what other people think of you, you start sabotaging your life, and you start moving forward but with the breaks on.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner” Lao Tzu. I think it's important to care what others think to a small degree, but when you feel it starts to control your life and you desperately need others' approval to make any decision in your life, approval seeking has become unhealthy, almost like an addiction.
If we want to live life the way WE want to and not the way others would want us to, we need to let go of our constant need to control what other people think of us, we need to learn to let go of our approval seeking behavior.
1. You Simply Can’t Be Liked by Everybody
No matter how much you try and no matter how “nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have everybody like you for there will always be people who will continue talking about you and your “inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving, breathing, dressing, living, etc.
No matter how much you try and no matter how “nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have everybody like you for there will always be people who will continue talking about you and your “inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving, breathing, dressing, living, etc.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” Winston Churchill
2. You Can Live a Happy Life Without “Their” Approval
You are not less or more of a person based on how many people like and approve of you. While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must be nice to people and we are, but somehow we keep encountering people that don’t seem to like us. So why is that? Is there something wrong with us? Not really. Just because some people don’t like us, does not imply that there is something wrong with us, for that is not true. You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way. How freeing is that?
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer
You are not less or more of a person based on how many people like and approve of you. While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must be nice to people and we are, but somehow we keep encountering people that don’t seem to like us. So why is that? Is there something wrong with us? Not really. Just because some people don’t like us, does not imply that there is something wrong with us, for that is not true. You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way. How freeing is that?
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer
3. You Can’t Control What Other People Think of You
I came to the realization that we all live in different worlds, a different reality for each and every one of us, reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what we were taught while growing up. What I might see as being right, other people might see as being wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful other people might see as being ugly.
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, and instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say of you, why not spend that time improving and growing yourself, knowing that: “Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Einstein
I came to the realization that we all live in different worlds, a different reality for each and every one of us, reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what we were taught while growing up. What I might see as being right, other people might see as being wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful other people might see as being ugly.
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, and instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say of you, why not spend that time improving and growing yourself, knowing that: “Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Einstein
4. Approval Seeking Behavior is Time Consuming
It take a lot of your time, time that can be used to do the things that you really enjoy doing.
It take a lot of your time, time that can be used to do the things that you really enjoy doing.
5. Approval Seeking Behavior Drains Your Energy.
Every time you spend time thinking and talking about what X or Y said about you, not only are you wasting your time, but you are also wasting your precious energy.
Every time you spend time thinking and talking about what X or Y said about you, not only are you wasting your time, but you are also wasting your precious energy.
6. Freedom to Be Who You Want to Be
When you no longer care about what other people think of you, you start being yourself and you start behaving the way you always wanted but you couldn’t because of all the restrictions and limits you imposed on yourself. You have no idea how much freedom comes with letting go of your need to control what other people think of you.
7. Inner Peace
We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” Peace Pilgrim
8. You Are The One In Control of Your Life, Not Them!
Mind your own business and live your life, the way you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go of your approval seeking behavior.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Arthur Gordon
When you no longer care about what other people think of you, you start being yourself and you start behaving the way you always wanted but you couldn’t because of all the restrictions and limits you imposed on yourself. You have no idea how much freedom comes with letting go of your need to control what other people think of you.
7. Inner Peace
We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” Peace Pilgrim
8. You Are The One In Control of Your Life, Not Them!
Mind your own business and live your life, the way you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go of your approval seeking behavior.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Arthur Gordon
9. The ONLY Person You Must Get Approval From Is YOU!
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
You get to a point where you know them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and how they perceive reality. A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.”Wayne Dyer
And below are some pictures of my beautiful girls that I realized I had never posted. Love these girls!!
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
You get to a point where you know them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and how they perceive reality. A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.”Wayne Dyer
And below are some pictures of my beautiful girls that I realized I had never posted. Love these girls!!
1 comment:
These quotes are so insightful. I think it's human nature to care what others think, and in some cases I think we should care what others think, primarily our spouses; however, the problem lies when we begin to care too much about what others think and have a hard time making decisions on our own, for fear of what the "others" might think of our decision or behavior and having difficulty being proud of our decisions we make on our own without outward praise. I know that I want people to be happy with the decisions I make and life I am living, but at the end of the day I want to be happy with ME, not because others are happy with ME and my choices. There are very few people I think know me well enough to have a full and accurate portrayal of who I am and therefore anyone elses opinion of me doesn't matter haha. There are also those who think they know me pretty well, but they really don't. It gets to the point that it doesn't matter how much you try, you will always end up disappointing someone or not meet expectations or say something or believe something contrary to other's beliefs, but thank goodness for our agency and freedom to choose. If we all thought alike this earth would be terribly boring. All I gotta say is I think in my own life I go through waves of hoping people approve of my life and then I see how out of hand that can get and start to become more independent and not care so much what others think about how I live my life. I actually think that not caring about what others think of you is an important part of becoming an adult, believe it or not. There's a fine line. We all know people who seem to constantly and shamelessly promote themselves and what they are doing on social media and I think that some of the seemingly outwardly confident people are often some who need the very most validation from others to feel like they are a successful and acceptable person. I think the single young adult years are a crucial time for people to figure themselves out and become happy with who they are intrinsically versus from extrinsic praise. Wo, I wrote a TON! Sorry, just gave me a lot to think about.
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