Why Everyone Should Be A Feminist

I have been in two recent conversations with groups of women lately where the "evils" of the Equal Rights Amendment have been broached.  Each time, I have been in such shock on that someone would view women having equal rights to men as something of the devil, that I have said nothing.  To the contrary, I have always been under the impression that the equal rights movement was guided by the hand of God and that certain key individuals were inspired to desire and demand change.  Now that I have had time to collect my thoughts a bit, I thought I would write about why I feel that everyone should be a feminist.  First, let me clarify what I mean when I use the word "feminist."  To me, it simply means a person who believes in equal rights for women.  Somehow, along the way "feminist" became a bad word and even an insult to some to be called such.  While there are/were a few rogue feminists who were extreme in their intent, most are not (were not) and simply want fairness under the law.  Let me take you back to the 1960's, which really wasn't that long ago, to paint a picture of the environment in which the Equal Rights Amendment grew out of.

If you were looking for a job, help wanted ads were separated into ads for men, and separate ads for women.  The only jobs that women were allowed to even consider were secretary, nurse, teacher, and flight attendant, and even those jobs weren't as available until the 1970s.  If a woman received a pay check, in most states, it was the property of her husband and he could do with it what he wished, and was supported in that view by law.  Women were not allowed to run in the Boston Marathon until 1972, if you can believe that.  And until 1974, if a woman wanted a loan, her husband or father was required to co-sign for her.  The Equal Rights Amendment called for, "Equality of rights under the law shall not be abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."  Of course!  It just makes so much sense to me!  It was supported and fought for by the likes of Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Florence Kennedy, and Dorothy Pitman Hughs.  A very determined opposition was launched that suggested that ratification of the ERA would lead to the complete unraveling of traditional American society.  I, by no means feel that the women involved in this equal rights movement are in complete accordance with all of the values I hold dear to my heart, but I do feel like they were guided to want more for women and given the strength to stand up and say it.

I love my life as a stay at home, traditional mother and wouldn't change it for the world.  BUT, I believe that all women have every right to choose what they want for their own lives.  And if they do choose to work by necessity, or because of pure enjoyment, they deserve equal pay and to work in an environment that does not support sexual harassment.  It seems to me that being afraid that if the equal rights amendment passed, women would make the "wrong choices" and that this would lead to the downfall of the traditional home, is similar to Satan's mentality of wanting everyone to make it back to heaven, and to do this, no one would have the right to choose.

In the 1960s, it was Betty Friedan who described the plight of the middle-class suburban housewife. "These are the women who have everything they think that they need and have been told that they want—a man, children, a dog, a house in the suburbs, the perfect wallpaper and the curtains to match it—and yet, for some reason, they feel unsatisfied, “empty, somehow,” “incomplete,” and, “as if [they] don’t exist." They were “sure they had no problem, even though they did have a strange feeling of desperation."  She explained further, "If a woman had a problem in the 1950s and the 1960s, she knew that something must be wrong with her marriage, or with herself. Other women were satisfied with their lives, she thought. What kind of a woman was she if she did not feel this mysterious fulfillment waxing the kitchen floor? She was so ashamed to admit her dissatisfaction that she never knew how many other women shared it."  Feelings like these, I believe, are the result of a person feeling powerless in their own life.  I think that just realizing that she had the right to choose for herself what she wanted her life to be, would have alleviated all or most of her unrest.  Even now, I think that women feel a lot of guilt when motherhood is not perhaps all happy and positive as they had hoped.  Instead of thinking about what she could do to change those feelings, such as having more needed breaks, or a listening ear, she automatically thinks, "There must be something wrong with me if I don't love this."  I know this is true because I felt like this for several years of my parenting adventures.  And all along, there was not anything wrong with me, I just needed someone to talk to, like a counselor.

So, if you are a woman and enjoy having the freedom to choose what degree you want, or perhaps what career you want, or even to run a race of your choice, you should be thankful for the women who fought for those rights.  Too often, their names have become synonymous with liberal-ness and ruining the traditional home when they simply fought to give you and I the rights that we enjoy, or maybe even take for granted.  It is up to us to choose what we do with those rights, for good or for bad.  And by the way, I will never believe that women who work whether they have to or, God forbid, LOVE to, are ruining the traditional home.  I have met many who are managing to work and raise amazing, emotional healthy, happy, good children and they deserve respect and our non-judgment.

I am proud to be a feminist.

And that's how I see it.