*Women with dainty appetites. This includes those who claim their dessert is just too rich to take more than one or two bites. Never in my life have I tasted something too rich. Woman up and stuff the whole damn thing in your mouth before I eat mine AND yours.
*People who claim it's up to God whether or not to have their next child. Here's a news flash: if you're having sex without birth control, you're going to get pregnant.
*Having to sing the "practice hymn" in Relief Society. Why don't the men have to do this? It never improves anything to make us sing yet another hymn and it NEVER sounds good. I also don't like having to stand as a congregation to sing a hymn or having to sing every bloody verse of a hymn which has 7 verses.
*Mute and/or passive children. It's so foreign to my system to see children like this that it inexplicably makes me angry and in a bad mood. Have a personality for pete's sake! It gives me the urge to secretly pinch them just to get them to have a reaction.
*People who are always happy.
*People who are always negative. Please, there is a wide array of human emotions. You have permission to experience all of them.
*People who have a simple answer to everything that happens in life. Sometimes there isn't a reason WHY you will ever know in this life, so don't insult me with pert answers to complex situations.
*"Mom jeans". Mom jeans are classified as jeans from the 80s that are hiked past one's belly button, they usually have very large pockets (8 inches is typical), and bear the name "Lee". It is common for women who wear these type of jeans to have particularly flat buns. Please mothers, no one looks good with their pants hiked up to their chin and it gives the rest of us a bad name.
*The "pop-in". I have a hard enough time answering the phone when I'm not prepared to have to talk, so PLEASE don't just decide to pop in for a visit without giving me 24 hours of notice.
*People who have the inability to pay attention to social cues. For example, people who don't realize they have been the only one talking for twenty minutes, or people who speak incredibly loud. Also, people who feel the need to divulge very intimate information without knowing you very well.
*I can't stand bad grammar.
*People who don't take responsibility for the decisions they have made which have contributed to unfortunate circumstances in their lives. It's not God that is trying you, it's your own stupidity sometimes!
*Women who are passive to their husbands. This one is HUGE for me. There really are no words to describe my animosity or disrespect towards women who don't have an opinion, won't voice an opinion, or choose to be uninvolved in certain aspects of the family life.
*If you drive a full-sized white van, you have officially taken "multiplying and replenishing the earth" too far. There are others that can help in this objective besides you and your spouse, so please don't add to the stereotype of the crazy Mormon family.
*People who refuse to admit flaws in themselves or members of their family. A certain amount of self-deprecation is always appreciated by me, and most people.
*People who can't see that there is always another side or opinion that merits consideration.
*People who try to "help" while in Target or the grocery store when my children are screaming. Please, the best thing you can do is ignore us and not call any more attention to something that is already maddening and humiliating.
*People who are outwardly sheep, but inwardly ravening wolves. This includes the woman who says the most blunt, judgmental things with a huge, serene smile plastered to her face. Warning to that woman: I can see through you, and know you are a sugar-coated b*&^$%.
*People who can't admit they are wrong.
*People who are always the victim. I'm not talking about people who are truly victims of terrible crimes, but those who can turn any situation into a "poor me" situation.
I think I could probably go on indefinitely, but I feel sufficiently cleansed of my annoyances to be able to quit. What are things that drive you crazy?
8 comments:
Another great essay. I like reading your blogs because after reading them I feel vented and have no reason to write my own. Great savings of time. Thanks Sandy!!
I guess I figured it out. By the way this is Janey (MJ) I know you're laughing at me.
Yet again-another FABULOUS piece of writing by you. I love how genuine and real you are.
That is one thing that I absolutely can't stand: fake people...Oh the list of things that drive me crazy could go on forever.
Well done.
It bugs me when people talk about great, great, Aunt Bertha on their father's brother's side, twice removed. Or Walter, Herold who saved 53 people in World War 1 and went on 79 bombing runs. Yes, I apprecite people's genealogy and all the wonderful things that their ancestors did. But would they be listening with rapt attention if I were to go on and on about MY genealogy? I think not.
I just read this again, and I am telling you that it is one of the very best things I've ever read. I am trying to find a way to print it out because I want to spread it around Lakeview Hospital for a good laugh. Please, send it into Reader's Digest- it is funnier than the stuff they put in there! You are very blessed to have this gift of writing and also photography. You are doing YOUR part by actively developing these talents and sharing them. I love you.
SANDY!!! Oh my gosh, I have so many of the same grievances!! Some of which I never knew anyone else on earth would think of. :) Glad we're on the same page.
Amen! That's why we love you so and are so glad you are part of our family.
So... last time I saw you... you said, "You are always so happy." I said thanks but maybe I should've been offended. LOL ;)
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