Water Fight!!!

Memorial Day Weekend

Swimming  Park City  Painting  Movies  Barbecue
Friends  Camp fire  Camping  Temper tantrums
Sunburns  Smores  Games  More temper tantrums  Fun
Grumpy  AND  Worn Out

I Wouldn't Change a Thing . . .

I will admit that I have been very blessed to live in a beautiful home, in an upscale neighborhood; one in which I often don't feel I belong and in which Robert and I enjoy referring to ourselves as the "white trash" of the neighborhood.  Many of my neighbors, who I absolutely adore, have beautiful and expensive artwork in their homes.  It has been almost 5 years since we moved into this house and as I was looking around my room the other day, I thought, "It's probably about time I decorated the walls in this room."  And then I took a closer look and thought twice.  The room is decorated, and quite splendidly I might add.  I wouldn't change or add a thing, AND I got the artwork at quite a good deal!

Please, oh please Don't Give Me the Bird!!!

I am a shameless fool and this is why.  The other day while on the phone with my sister Kristen, Elisabeth (my 5 yr. old) came running in frantically saying, "Ashton is holding a dead bird!  Hurry!"  I immediately started screaming "Go get it Elisabeth!  I can't do it!  Go get it and throw it out!"  She ran back outside and tried to pry it out of his hands but couldn't.  "Try again!  Pleeeeease!"  She yelled inside, "He's coming in with it!" " NOOOOOOO!"  I yelled!  And I briskly raced to the back door and locked it--yes, locked my 3 year old out--because I absolutely could not deal with prying a dead bird out of his hands.  Instead, I yelled ferociously out the window at him, "Throw it in the swamp!  Now!  ASHTON--THROW IT OUT or you're not coming in!!!!"  Finally, he threw it somewhere and I unlocked the door and let him in and thoroughly scrubbed his hands with soap.  Afterwards, I started thinking about what an absolute fool I was in the way I acted and couldn't believe the scene I had made!  It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where George was in a packed theater and the fire alarm went off and he momentarily lost his mind, knocking children and old people over so that he could escape from danger first.  Yes, I was a coward on that day I ashamed to say.  Why oh why do animals disgust me so?????  And shouldn't I be more mature by now?

Lightening May Strike Me After This Post . . .

There is a virtually nothing that I don't have a strong opinion about, so I thought I would document some of them, and as always, if you feel like you may be offended by my comments, please cease reading.

*I believe strongly that there are MANY different ways to do things the "right" way and just because it's not my way, doesn't mean it's wrong.

*I believe education is the solution to almost every ill that plagues society.

*I believe marijuana should be legalized.

*I believe respect should NEVER be demanded, only inspired.

*I don't believe that Mormon's own the cornerstone on happiness, although they probably should.

*I believe that until women are able to be sealed to more than one man, as men are allowed to be sealed to more than one woman, women will continue to question their equality to men.

*I firmly believe that there should be BASIC universal health care for all Americans.  I believe this can be done without resulting in socialized medicine.

*I don't believe in relying on ANYONE'S feelings, thoughts or opinions over my own, although I always consider others' feelings and thoughts very carefully.

*I believe money can and does buy a lot of happiness.

*I think there are very, very few stable and normal people in this world.  And yes, I am one of the few.  ;)

*Dysfunctional families are the norm, especially in the church.

*I believe that if you put your spouse's happiness first, that your children will benefit the most.

*Being spoiled is not necessarily caused from "things", but not having to work for those things.  Therefore, children should be taught to work for the things they want from a very young age.

*No one will ever convince me that President Obama is "evil" simply because he has a different ideology than my own.  I believe he has good intentions, but errs in giving people too much for free.

*I don't think children benefit from having a "trophy mom"; one that always has to look perfect and keeps herself oh- so- busy with many, many accomplishments and things.  They just want someone to read them books, put them as the priority, and always be there for them.

*I believe there is ALWAYS two sides to the story and am always interested in both sides.

*I think women in the church would benefit more from female leaders that didn't have a curled bun in their hair and speak in a soft sweet voice.  I cannot relate to that and every time one of them speaks, my brain automatically turns off.  I miss Sheri Dew!!

*I don't believe in amnesty for illegal immigrants, but I believe that it should be easier for them to become citizens.  I believe if they pay taxes, they should be able to stay here on a work visa.

*I will NOT read LDS fiction because I don't appreciate being artificially, spiritually manipulated AND think that books written by church leaders for profit, verge on priestcraft.

*I often call my children "little people" because I don't see their thoughts or feelings as less than mine simply because they are younger.  I guide and teach them, but they are valued and treated as equals.

*I am no push over for authority, no matter who they are.  Anyone in any authoritative position should have to prove they deserve my belief in them and until then, should receive tentative and careful consideration from me.

*I don't believe that people should name their children hideous family names, just to carry on the name to future generations.

*I think empathy is one of the most admirable traits a person could possess.  I strive to live my life with as little harsh judgment of others as possible.  I am always thinking, "How would I feel if I were in their circumstances?"  This shapes a lot of my political, religious, and personal decisions.

*I believe very few people will be held to the highest degree of accountability, due to the fact that there are so many that don't have the gospel and whose difficult life circumstances have shaped their beliefs into something other than their best self.

*I believe in fairly strict gun control laws, although I have enjoyed shooting at targets on a couple of occasions.

*I strongly believe in evolution.

*I believe that government money would be better spent rehabilitating inmates, versus jailing them indefinitely with the exception of sexual predators and serial killers.

*If I die and find that there is polygamy in heaven, I have told Robert "They can have you"!  No man is worth sharing with other women.  Seriously.  I would much rather live in another kingdom by myself with my mom and sisters.

 *I DO believe in a certain amount of global warming and that we should all try to be wise tenants of the Earth.

*I think that animal activists, although crazy, serve an important place in society by getting us to think about things we normally wouldn't.

*I believe that sex education should start as early as 2 years old in the home, and be able to be talked about openly, frankly, and honestly.  If you start young, it is much less uncomfortable and less taboo.  AND, I will never tell my children that sex is "Beautiful" because it took me years to recover from hearing that after I got married--I kept searching for the beauty.   hahahaha!

*Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser, although it should.

*I believe in civil unions for the gay population.

*Being a "sweet" Mom isn't the best thing for raising children.  It may score you some points with other moms, but I believe that my job is to teach my children to be independent and to be a good spouse.   Making all their meals, and making their beds for them will not achieve this.

*I think that it would serve a great purpose in making everyone work for their temple marriage; prove that they are worthy of it, since the divorce rate even in the church is sky high.  Therefore, if it was up to me, which I am fully aware that it's not, I would require young people to be civilly married for several years and have marriage counseling before being given the right to be sealed in the temple.

I seriously think I could go on for hours, but I am sure by now I have offended or disappointed every reader so I think I'll stop.

Birthdays

Hunter turned 9 this week.  Hunter is the peacemaker of the family and excels at anything he puts his mind to.  He loves tae kwon do, jumping on the trampoline, playing with his transformers, being at home with his family, and pulls hilarious faces.  He is best buddies with his sister Madison and they love to make up plays and secret clubs.  He is very protective of his younger brother, Ashton.  He was born at a very stressful time in our lives and I have always appreciated his calm spirit because it was a testimony to me that Heavenly Father was mindful of us and what we were going through.  Hunter has a tender heart, and surprises me with his insight at the most unexpected times.

Christian turned 14 on Mother's Day.  The only way I can express what an amazing person he is, is to tell you of a recent experience.  It was last Saturday, and I was in a lot of pain because I had pulled a ligament in my leg trying to train for the Ragnar race.  Robert had been gone helping others most of the day and I had tried my best to do jobs with the kids in spite of the fact that I could hardly walk.  This was Christian's day:  He woke up and went to help a relative move which took a little longer than expected, all with a happy face and disposition.  Then he came home did his Saturday chores, worked in the yard with Robert and then attempted to put the new swingset together.  Later on that evening, Robert asked him to babysit the other kids while we went out to dinner.  I really felt bad for leaving, but Robert convinced me that getting out of the house would be good for me since I was kind of down and had been trapped inside most of the day.  As we were driving down the street, I saw Christian pushing Ashton and Elisabeth in the stroller on a long walk down to Smith's to buy the Mother's Day flowers that Robert hadn't had time to get himself.  I totally lost it and started crying.  I didn't feel worthy of this child and all that he does for me!  When we got home later that night, he had orchestrated the younger kids in doing a huge load of dishes and cleaning the family room, which I hadn't been up to doing earlier that day.  I am honestly in awe of him--

Madison at the Jazz Game

     Last week I was able to go on a date with Madison to a Jazz game.  Madison is a HUGE Jazz fan,  knows all the players and loves to wear her personalized Jazz jersey everyday after school.  She loves to practice her famous signature in case someday she is a well-known basketball star and someone will ask for her autograph.  While we were at the Jazz game, the Jazz dancers came on the floor for their half-time performance.  It was some kind of country theme and they were dressed with short (REALLY short) jean shorts and skimpy shirts and that's when Madison turned to me and said, "I'm embarrassed for them.  Are you?"  Wow, I thought.  We should all feel embarrassed that this is what some women feel they have to wear to be attractive and it IS sending a message to my 11 year old daughter--and I highly RESENT that.  This really got me thinking that in spite of how far society has come in recognizing everyone as equal, women are still objectified and thus their value is minimalized.   Many women have even come to accept and thrive on this!  I was forced to have the talk with Madison about how a lot of people unfortunately value girls on their bodies and not on their abilities or intelligence and how unfair that was.  She was genuinely shocked that that was what some people thought about women.  I have also had to try to explain to her recently why there is no scouting program for girls (she loves camping and the outdoors) and why there was no football team for her to be on.  She has several times expressed how she wished she was a boy because they have so much more fun--Robert is the scoutmaster and so she sees him doing things on a weekly basis with the boys.  Achievement Days, which has only come into existence in the past several years and is for girls her age,  is only twice a month and consists of activities that don't interest her as much; baking, pedicures, journaling, etc.
     The more I have thought about Madison's observation at the Jazz game, the more angry I have become over the past week.  Women today are conditioned to think that sexuality is power, when in reality it is exploitation and results in their value being lessened.  Madison's next comment was, "Do those girls do that because they can't play basketball very well?"  Why are women still judged according to their bodies and looks, when men are judged more on their abilities?  How can I teach my girls to value talents and their individuality when all of society screams immorality, materialism, being thin, flawless, and beautiful?  It seems that there is this mold that women are confined to and it starts very young.  Even in Relief Society, there is an assumption that most women enjoy crafts, sewing, cooking, etc.  So where do you fit if you don't like these things?  And how do I teach her not to value herself on her appearance, although much of society will?  Why is it that men AND women are so hard on women?  I know what it feels like to see another woman and think, "Is that what I'm supposed to be like?"  At that moment, insecurity and doubt takes over and you question who you really are, and it doesn't feel very good.  I don't want that for her; I want Madison to know it's okay to play with the boys at recess and love basketball and wear her Jazz jersey.  But am I supposed to conform her as well to the boundaries of what society says a woman should be?  I'm conflicted.  She hates doing her hair--should I force her?  If she had it her way, she would wear her sports clothes everyday to school.  How do I encourage femininity without subsequently causing her to feel shame about who she really wants to be?  That's not to say that she is not feminine, however.  She still plays with her High School Musical dolls, she loves to go shopping, she is very good at taking care of Ashton, and she has many girlfriends.  She just happens to also love sports, being outdoors, and rough housing.  How I wish I could shield her from the very near realization that she will be objectified by some men, and judged on her beauty rather than her ability!
      It makes me so mad that women in the media feel showing their bodies off is "empowering" when in fact it is doing the complete opposite.  When men look at those pictures, they aren't thinking how powerful or intelligent that woman is!  It makes me feel helpless to see the advertisements, magazines, movies, tv programs, and music that bombards our children with WRONG messages.  It makes me wonder if my voice will be loud enough.  Will my children be able to hear me and those who love them saying that they are more than a body, and that their value is infinite?  And why, after all these years, are women still viewed as "less than"?  Will my voice be loud enough?