A Bad Dream, and a little bit of re-learning

I woke up in a panic in the middle of the night the other night because I dreamt that Christian had gone off to college and was subsisting mainly on frozen and processed foods because I didn't teach him to make more difficult things.  The horror!  The horror!  He knows how to bake things like cookies, brownies, cakes, etc., but as far as more complicated recipes, I have been slightly neglectful in teaching him.  So I recommitted myself to making sure that my kids can cook well, and have determined that they will be in charge of making dinners more often.  This week was Christian's week, next week is Madison's week, and Hunter starts cooking classes at our local high school next week.  They get to pick the menu for the night, and I buy the ingredients.  Christian made Sweet and Sour Chicken with sticky rice and a cauliflower cheese bake side dish.  He did awesome!

Things I've re-learned lately:

Busier isn't better.  Sometimes you can't help but be busy, but a lack of being busy does not equate to laziness or not living a meaningful life.  Sometimes, less really is more.

Sometimes you have to give yourself what no one else can, or will.  It would be nice if our friends and family could magically give us everything we emotionally or physically desire, but sometimes they honestly can't or simply won't.  And in that case, it's important to find a way to give that to yourself.

Braces hurt!  I got braces on again a couple of days ago, and boy am I in pain!

The importance of regularly carving out quiet time for yourself.  It really is near impossible to do any sort of soul searching or personal evaluation if your home is always chaotic and loud.  Instead of running my much needed-to-be-done errands today, I exercised and then came home to a quiet, albeit messy, house.  I just sat in the silence for 15 minutes or so and was just still.  It was actually very profound.  And then I got up and cleaned the house.

What a wonderful husband I have.  I had a bad cold this week and so on Monday for family night, Robert banished me to my room to rest (I took a bubble bath instead) while he and the kids folded 7 loads of laundry.  So incredibly thoughtful and sweet!

The importance of verbalizing things to your children instead of just assuming they know.  This includes everything from saying "I love you", sharing your feelings about faith with them, asking them about their thoughts on specific issues, and of course talking to them about sex, just to name a few.  I have had all of these conversations with different children of mine in just the past week.

Religiosity does not equate to spirituality.  This has been a problem in my life for quite a while.  I really need to set aside time for things that help build my spirituality instead of simply participating in things through my church that keep me busy (even though they are still good things).

Robert and I are taking a trip to NYC next week with friends.  I love to travel, but the stress of getting the house and kids ready before we leave ALMOST makes it not worth it.  And then of course I worry about them the whole time we are gone, but I don't know why because it is truly scary just how well they do without me being there.

The complexities of balancing different children's strengths and weaknesses without making them feel better than, or less than their siblings.

Always preserve the relationship with your child over your need to control them.  Even if/when they make poor choices, the relationship that you have preserved with them over your need of being "right" over the years will be one of the only things that can bring them back from those poor choices.  A woman in my ward that I walk with shared this wisdom with me, and I really think it is true and important.

There are lots of different ways to be a happy, healthy, super fantastic family; you don't need to model your family after someone else's version of what you think your family should be like.  I learned this as I watched my friend send her oldest off on a mission this past week.  They are a family full of strong opinions and emotions, often fighting passionately, but they are also extremely close knit and seem to have strong testimonies, respect, and love for each other.  This reminds me of something similar that I think a lot about and that is, that in all things, there are many, many different ways of living a good life and doing things the "right" way.   Your own inner voice should be the strongest determinant in deciding the best ways to proceed in living a happy and good life.

Oh, and here is one of my favorite pics I've taken recently: