The Losing Streak

You maybe remember my post last year (http://4peanutsandacashew.blogspot.com/2011/11/sometimes-once-year-feels-like-too-much.html) about the horrific embarrassment I seem to encounter every year at tithing settlement, and this year seems to be no exception to our losing streak.  Here's the run down.

I enter the room tentatively, eyeing the cabinet that Elisabeth bashed in last year during tithing settlement.  Yep, still bashed in.  I take my seat thinking, the kids are one year older, there's no way it could be as bad as last year!  Alas, I should have known things were going to be bad when we arrived and had 20 minutes to burn before it was our turn and the kids were feeding off each other's hyper-ness, at one point all geting banished to their own corner in the foyer.

*The Bishop begins by trying to take an interest in each of our children, asking them about the significance of their middle names.  Madison thinks Emma Smith, who she was named after, is Joseph Smith's sister and then can't stop laughing at her blunder.  When I berate her in the car afterwards for not knowing who she was named after, she exclaims, "You never taught me!"  Yes, never missing one week of family night has really paid off.

*Hunter, for whatever reason, when asked questions publicly just smiles and chooses not to respond.  I nudge him gently, "Hunter, that's you he's talking to."  "Oh, what was the question?" he asks.

*Ashton has meanwhile turned into "Rain Man", exhibiting some sort of jarbled, strange language with no meaning and contorting his body and face.  At one point, the Bishop asks him a question and he chooses to lift his legs up to the ceiling and spread them into the splits.  I grab him to sit on my lap and give him an awesome pinch that makes me feel just a little better about the situation.  I frantically whisper, "Act normal!  Just stare at the wall!"  Because sitting still seems to be normal behavior for every other 5 year old except mine.  He wiggles out of my grasp and lays down in the middle of the floor doing a snow angel for us all.  I am thinking that if I didn't know him, I would think half of his brain was missing.

*I am sweating and in absolute emotional pain from the desperateness of wanting to get out of there, but it's not over yet.  We have blown our cover as a semi-normal family, and for that I am mad.  I trade off giving each child the evil eye and for some reason this eggs them on into more hysterical laughter because they know my hands are tied.  They are all talking and laughing and it feels like the whole room is vibrating with their energy.  I hear certain references being bantered about by Robert and the Bishop about Benadryl for hyper active kids and how we will miss these days someday.  Boy, I can't wait to miss them!

*The kids are offered a piece of candy from the Bishop for their not-so-great performance.  They forage through the basket like rabid squirrels--because what they really need after their manic behavior is MORE SUGAR.

*As I walk out and see my reflection in the glass door, I notice that I forgot to change out of my long garments when I put on a dress quickly before we left and they are now about 3 inches below my dress line.  Good thing I waved and smiled really big to the next waiting family!

Indeed, even once a year is too often for some things.

But, they are pretty darn cute.