I have known for many years that I am an introvert, but it has been only recently that I have realized that it's not something that needs to be hidden or changed in order for me to be a better person. In fact, accepting and embracing my introversion instead of fighting it gives me more peace and enjoyment in my life. That's not to say that I can't benefit in pushing myself often to do that which is naturally uncomfortable, just that I have come to realize that being an introvert is not a weakness that needs to be corrected.
Here is a quiz I found to determine whether one is an introvert:
True or False?
1. I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities.
2. I often prefer to express myself in writing.
3. I enjoy solitude.
4. I seem to care about wealth, fame, and status less than my peers.
5. I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in-depth about topics that matter to me.
6. People tell me that I'm a good listener.
7. I'm not a big risk-taker.
8. I enjoy work that allows me to "dive in" with few interruptions.
9. I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.
10. People describe me as "soft-spoken" or "mellow."
11. I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it's finished.
12. I dislike conflict.
13. I do my best work on my own.
14. I tend to think before I speak.
15. I feel drained after being out and about, even if I've enjoyed myself.
16. I often let calls go through to voice-mail.
17. If I had to choose, I'd prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled.
18. I don't enjoy multi-tasking.
19. I can concentrate easily.
20. In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to seminars.
The more you answer "true" to these statements, the higher you rank on the introversion scale. Here are some things that specifically identify me as an introvert: (Don't judge me too harshly)
--Every social situation I am invited to be a part of, my mind desperately hopes it is cancelled due to sickness on the part of the host, or inclement weather. I almost always go anyway and have a wonderful time, it's just not something that I would choose over time alone.
--I get butterflies in my stomach thinking of being completely ALONE for a certain amount of time. If for some reason that time is thwarted, I am in a baaaaad mood.
--Voicemail is one of my most favorite inventions. Sometimes I utter silent prayers for someone's voicemail to pick up so I don't have to speak to them personally.
--Being in a room full of loud, talking people can be an almost painful experience for me. I get a little panicky and quickly look for the nearest exit.
--I absolutely MUST have at least one hour to myself every day or I may go crazy. Literally. Sometimes I hide in my closet or bathroom in order to get it.
--I prefer Visiting Teachers and Home Teachers that are there for me in spirit but not physically really there.
--A surprise party would be my worst nightmare come true. Really. I'm not just saying that hoping that someone will still read between the lines and go to the effort of throwing me a surprise party. I really and truly would be horrified if someone threw me a surprise party.
--I am my own best friend. Yep, that's right. Robert is also my best friend, partially because he realizes my introvert needs and allows me a LOT of space without making me feel guilty about it.
--I am seriously scared of the unannounced, well-intended "pop-in". I have to work myself up to being social so if it's sprung on me with no prep time, I don't like it.
--Even if I have an absolutely splendid time at a social event, it still drains me somewhat emotionally and usually the next day I feel the need to insure that I don't have to be social in order to "re-group."
There are some advantages to being an introvert, thank goodness. Here are some that I found while reading up on the topic:
* Work Well With Others, Especially In One-to-One Relationships
* Maintain Long-Term Friendships* Flexible
* Independent
* Strong Ability To Concentrate
* Self-Reflective
* Responsible
* Creative, Out-of-the-Box thinking
* Analytical Skills That Integrate Complexity
* Studious and Smart
*Aren't likely to invade the boundaries of others. They show restraint in social situations and may wait to be approached before others approach you. They may not be the first person someone meets when they go to a party, but they may be the most interesting once someone gets to know them.
*Less likely to put their foot in their mouth. Because they react slowly to situations as they develop, they're unlikely to commit the kind of social gaffes that people who have a higher reactance can make.
*They can feel inwardly contented without needing to share their pleasure in their outward behavior.
*More likely to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
You may be thinking like I am right now, how ironic it is that a person that is such an introvert like myself, has FIVE children. The only way I don't go insane is by structuring our lives together so that I know what to count on as much as possible (schedules that I stick to) and also that I put a high priority on what I need to function at my best (time alone).
My son Hunter is also an introvert. It can be tempting sometimes to force him to play with friends when he simply wants to be alone at home. Sometimes as parents we may feel we need to "fix" our introvert child, but I have learned to respect his space, still sometimes trying to encourage him to be social, but never forcing the issue. The problem is from the moment we wake up to the second we go to sleep, introverts live in an extrovert's world, and there are days when we'd prefer to do nothing more than stay at home. But while our temperaments may partially define us, that doesn't mean we have to be controlled by them--if we can find something or someone that motivates us to push beyond the boundaries of our nerves we can find the will to emerge outside of our comfort zone. Or maybe on some days, we can just be satisfied with staying completely within our comfort zone and that's okay too. So, #1. YES I fully accept that I am an introvert #2. It doesn't have to limit me.
4 comments:
Here's why I am an introvert:
I have a morbid fear of anyone at church asking me any sort of question. When asked if I will give a prayer, I have shake with nervousness and have to repeat over and over what I am about to say in my head and cannot think of anything else until I have finally said Amen. I like sitting in the back and staying "under the radar" especially at church.
When I know I am going to hang out with another couple I don't know very well, I get anxiety immediately before we are about to meet up with them. I try to make myself appear more cheery and bright than I actually am.
I often get asked if something is wrong when in reality, my normal facial expression is serious because I am usually in deep thought.
I too, prefer writing than talking aloud to someone. I can express myself and gather my thoughts more clearly when writing.
I don't like being in restaurants that are busy and bustling where I have to talk really loudly in order to have a conversation. I actually don't really like being in public at all.
I like going to the mall by myself more than going with someone because I want to go at my own pace, my own stores, and take my time and not worry about what someone else is wanting to do or where they want to go.
I actually prefer doing most things myself so that I can go at my own pace and do it my own way and in my own time.
I HATE studying in groups and group projects and group presentations were always my least favorite way of learning.
I prefer exercising by myself so I can zone out and think my thoughts.
I actually prefer working with things rather than with people. HAHA! When I go off to work, I sometimes get worked up knowing that I will be in extremely close proximity with strangers for my entire day and have them within my personal space all day long and have to make small talk with them like a chatty Kathy, which I am not.
I consider myself to have a VERRRRRY large radius for my personal space, probably much larger than most people's.
I am a big fan of doing one thing at a time and doing it well than spreading my interests and many hobbies out into many fields and doing them mediocre.
I think far more people are introverted than they are willing to admit. There is I believe a sliding scale of introverted-ness. I am an odd example of being contradictory introverted. On one side I love being alone with my thoughts. I love to write. I love to dream, imagine, fantasize, ponder and contemplate in my own little world alone, away from reality. I avoid reality as much as possible. My favorite thing is immersing myself into a good movie. I love being in the outdoors alone, hiking, exploring, climbing. It's therapeutic. I prefer being alone or going out just with Sandra or one good friend or couple. I don't like having to compete for conversation. I like studying deeply and doing it alone. I hate small talk and I fail miserably if put on the spot to perform or be interesting (I can be very interesting, fun and hilarious, but only spontaneously and never on cue). I can't dance, sing or perform in public. I too would absolutely hate a surprise party. I do not like being the center of attention. I avoid praise centered on me and prefer to do charity and giving in secret.
However, I get a real kick out of chaos. I love to debate others. I love being in big crowds-like time square in New York. I love the occasional concert mosh-pit surrounded by countless strangers all jamming to loud music and banging into each other. I love being at large parties and functions. I love being a fly on the wall and watching people (airports, concerts, supermarkets, social gatherings--there are a lot of strange people in this world). I also love to teach and give talks to large audiences. But in each of these contradictory introvert situations-I am still inside myself, I am anonymous, I may be out in the world surrounded by motion, but inwardly I'm protected by a shell of disconnect. I suppose I could be considered a high functioning introvert or at least an introvert who is lost in the oblivion of his own world of fantasy and dreams that he doesn't realize he's amongst others? Ever see the matrix? Maybe the day will come that we all will wake up and realize this life was just a dream!
I didn't know you were an introvert. Really you seem to be very good at small talk and you are always doing activities and trips with friends. I am glad to know that though. I will cancel the surprise birthday party I guess. Sigh. But if a punk band with a big mosh pit comes to your town you will need to get some video of Robert because that would be pretty awesome. I want to see a stage dive on his 40th bday.
I got True on 3,4,5,7,8,9,10,12,15,16,18 and False on 1,2,6,11,13,14,17,19,20. I'm going to tell people I'm an introvert anyway...
I find this very interesting. I wouldn't necessary have thought I was an introvert, but I had a lot more "trues" than falses. Interesting...
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