By Their Fruits

The other day, I overheard a comment and subsequent interpretation of the scripture, "Ye shall know them by their fruits."  (3 Nephi 14:16)  The interpretation was used to bolster the thought that another person was making wrong choices and therefore their fruits would surely be shown to be deficient in the future.  It really got me thinking about the topic so I thought I would write about it.

First of all, after looking the scripture reference up, I found that this scripture was originally meant to be used in regard to identifying false prophets.  The question is, can the metaphor be extended to include people's individual lives, which it seems to be more often than not referenced to?  For me, the problem with this extrapolation is fraught with many undesirable conclusions:

*First, since we are all imperfect beings, don't we all bear some fruits that are good and others that aren't so good?  Taking stock of my own life, I can clearly see that overall I have good fruits, but with a more critical eye, not-so-good fruits can also be seen.  Even if you look at someone who is a product of big bad Hollywood for example, you can see that their fruits are a mixed bag; they are immoral according to our standards, but they also give millions of dollars to help the starving and oppressed in 3rd world countries.  Are you willing to be in the position to say they are unequivocally entirely bad, with no good in the mix?  Can Oprah, for example, be dismissed as someone who has not been truly great because she has chosen not to marry her partner of 30 years?  I have heard this done many times.  To me, this is black and white thinking, which possesses simpler rules for framing the world in a way which some can understand, but to me contains much less compassion and evolved reasoning.

*For parents, and mothers in particular, children either "turning out" right, in relation to LDS standards especially, or not turning out is often used as a measuring stick for the parent's righteousness.  I have seen this “know them by their fruits” defense used in relation to a variety of parenting styles and family configurations in real life.  However, it seems to me that judging one’s merits or successes as a parent based on the actions of another individual just doesn’t make sense.  It flies in the face of our doctrine on agency as well as scriptural teachings about parenting.  Section 68 declares that the duty of a parent is to teach, not to ensure the outcome of another’s life choices.  Who is a successful LDS parent then? I just can’t believe that I can put my feet up and relax when the last child is delivered to the bride’s or groom's room in the Salt Lake temple for instance. While it is tempting to set our sights on a checklist of events or our kids' characteristics, I am more inclined to believe that a better measurement is how my heart is with my child and with my God.  Is my love unfeigned?  Am I long suffering and gentle and meek in raising my children?  Do I recognize that I can still “lovingly” coerce even for the best of causes?  Fruits like these are much harder to see from an outsider's perspective, so perhaps it's an extrapolation we shouldn't be willing to make.  Undeniably, there is something to the idea that “good parents produce good kids”.  But the bottom line is that even if all 2000 of the stripling warriors ran away like cowards, feared death or had other doubts, if their mothers' actions had remained the same, they still would have been “good” mothers. To think otherwise, seems to place a difficult and unnecessary burden on parents that even our Father in Heaven doesn’t assume.  After all, even ⅓ of our Heavenly Father's children did not choose His plan.  Is He a bad parent, possessing bad fruits because of the choices of His children?  Certainly not.

*If you read the entire chapter in which this verse is found (3 Nephi Chapter 14), you will find that the verse about fruits is preceded by equally imperative verses on not judging:  "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged . . ."  Also found are the timeless verses on hypocrites, admonishing them to "first cast the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of the brother's eye."  Lastly, we find the scriptures, " . . . all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them . . ."  So apparently, along with looking at another's fruits in order to know them, we should carefully balance that admonition with judging in a way that we would want to be judged and not being hypocrites in excusing our own weaknesses, yet still finding other's faults.  Also, it is human nature to cherry pick one scripture we personally view as important, but not equally weigh the value of competing scriptures on the same topic.  For instance, sometimes the evils of "intellectuals" is harped on, but the equally compelling statement "The glory of God is intelligence" is not as often balanced in consideration of the pitfalls of obtaining knowledge.

*What should be considered as "fruits?"  Everyone's interpretation of which fruits are important to manifest is different.  For me, outward accomplishments of myself as well as my children, pale in substance to the root of where it stems from.  For example, it wouldn't make me feel like an accomplished person if I jumped through all the hoops of the Mormon to-do list, but failed to have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father.  The same goes for the desires I have for my children.  Sometimes the "hoops" are representative of personal conviction, but occasionally they are not.  In addition, I don't think life is all about making only "right" choices, and sometimes we just need to be patient with what another person's learning process is.  I admit that it is difficult to see another person floundering through life (in our view) especially as their choices negatively affect others in their life.  But I still choose to believe in redemption and that all can be made right, eventually, through the atonement.

*Maybe "Judge them by their fruits" is for judging whether a prophet is of God, but for ourselves the scripture "By this shall men know ye are my disciples, if he have love one for another" is a more accurate yard stick for where our hearts truly are.

So what I am left to conclude after much reflection is that perhaps the scripture  "Judge them by their fruits" is being used in a way that it was never intended; to judge our neighbors.  And even if I am wrong, and that is definitely a possibility, for me in my life, I feel more comfortable using it only in self-reflection of what my own fruits say about my innermost desires.