My Favorite Child

Many years back when I was probably 14 or 15, I read an article in the Reader's Digest about a mother who had each of her children convinced that they were her favorite child and it wasn't until her death when the children were talking that they discovered over the years she had written them each letters telling them throughout their lives what she loved about them and why they were each her favorite child.  It wasn't a lie because they were each her most adored child in different ways.  I don't know why that article had such an impact on me, but I filed it away in the back of my mind until I had children, and then attempted to implement the same thing with my children.  Unfortunately, the discovery that the other children were favorites too, was stumbled upon much before my death when Elisabeth burst into Hunter's bedroom, overhearing me tell him all the reasons I loved him and that he was my favorite.  In tears she exclaimed, "I thought I was your favorite!"  Oh freaking no.  And then from the kitchen, one of the other children chimed in, "I thought it was me!"  And in an instant, my Reader's Digest moment was blown to smithereens, as I frantically attempted to explain that each of them had a special place in my heart reserved just for them and that, indeed, they were each my favorite child in individual ways.  Perhaps reenacting my Reader's Digest moment wasn't an optimum idea now that I think about it, and Elisabeth is probably scarred for life because of it.  ANYWAY . . .

Of course most of us love our children equally and would never admit even to ourselves that one of our children was our favorite, but sometimes we just "click" with a certain child better than others or maybe one of our children has been easier to raise and so we have less conflict with them and so it seems like they are our favorite.  Maybe it alternates with age when our parenting skills seem better honed to parent certain aged children.  For me, I find myself enjoying and adept at handling toddlers and teenagers the most.  If you happen to really understand and "get" one child's personality better than another, how do you balance the relationship out with the one that is more difficult, making them feel equally loved in spite of your differences?  I think we've all experienced looking in on another person's family and from the outside it just seems so obvious that they favor one of their children over the other(s).  Most likely, they aren't even conscious of what seems fairly conspicuous to those observing from the outside.  Hopefully that is not me!  I genuinely don't feel like I have a favorite child.  Okay, maybe on certain days if one child is particularly difficult I may prefer being in the presence of the others over the child giving me stress, but overall they are all my favorite in different ways.

Christian is my favorite because he was my first child--the child that made my lifelong dream of being a mother come true.  He is wise and mature for his age and pleasant to be around.  He has a bright intellect and is a natural born leader.  He has no interest in peer pressure and has confidence in what he wants and who he is.  He is brilliant, very independent, self motivated, and determined.  He makes us look like way better parents than we actually are.  Ha!

Madison is my favorite because she was my first girl and I my whole life I always wanted a daughter.  I take great joy in how different she is than me.  She is vibrant, active, fun, and happy.  She always has a positive outlook on life and innately desires to help people.  She is wonderful with small children.  She has lots of friends and naturally steers clear of girl drama. (Thank goodness)  She is down to earth and does not require much to be happy.  She tries hard at everything she pursues.

Hunter is my favorite because of his peaceful spirit.  He was born during one of the most hard and lonely times in our lives--10 days before our move to Oregon where we knew not a soul and then subsequently moved 4 more times in the next year and a half.  He was a happy, easy baby who slept well and entertained himself for hours and made life more bearable during that time.  He thinks deeply, uniquely, and quietly.  He excels at anything he puts his mind to.  He is a quiet leader that draws people to him without even trying.

Elisabeth is my favorite because she has fire inside of her.  This girl is going places!  Her delicate femininity may convince some at first that she is a girly girl, but she is a fighter and loves tigers, wolves, and dogs because they are just like her!  :)  She is incredibly smart and has a firm grasp on her free agency; she will use it for much good in her life I am sure.  She is smart and has a strong opinion on just about everything!  She is also my only cuddly child, which I love.

Ashton is my favorite because he is my baby.  I am his favorite and that endears me even more to him.  He takes life very seriously for someone his age, and because of this, reminds me of myself as a child.  He has strong boundaries that must be respected and is a constant source of joy for the rest of his siblings.  He is proving to be quite the little artist too!

As you can see, I am lucky enough to have 5 favorite children!

This weekend we had a neighborhood Halloween party at our house.  Here are some pictures:

Elisabeth and Sierra right before the party started.

Decorating cupcakes

Spider scavenger hunt

Find the eyeballs among the worms, relay

Candy corn relay

Making sparkle pumpkins

Ashton's Frankenstein cupcake

Hunter and his two bestsies