Talents

I have never really enjoyed talent shows.  There's always the person performing who, in their mind, is way more talented than they really are in reality.  They are usually freakishly dramatic in their delivery and I feel awkward for them and am silently resentful that they are making me uncomfortable.  Then there is the person who can't seem to get enough attention and is ALWAYS performing and they are never more inspired than when they hear themselves perform.  Heck--they even choke themselves up sometimes.  Then there are the people who have absolutely no performing talent whatsoever, but still attempt to come up with something they can do to at least be part of the so-called "talented" group.  If it is a child, then it is endearing.  But if it's an adult, I can't help but feel embarrassed for them because they don't have the sense to be embarrassed for themselves.  The reason why talent shows have always been particularly irksome to me, is that there are so many people with talents that cannot easily be displayed and so they are rarely recognized.  Talent shows are a microcosm of life, where outward talents that are easily seen are frequently given more praise, attention, and importance than those that are more subtle, but equally (if not more-so) impactful.  This is not to say that those that can act, dance, sing, or play an instrument shouldn't be praised for their accomplishments or feel proud of what their hard work has produced, but in raising children, I have found that it is vital to recognize the talents of each child equally whether they be gifts of the spirit, mental gifts, emotional gifts, or those more easily seen.
     At the beginning of each family night, instead of sharing a talent, we ask each child to share an act of kindness or service that they have performed in the last week.  This is my attempt to recognize that how we treat people is perhaps the greatest gift that a person could ever give.  I have some children that excel academically.  They are often praised by their peers, teachers, and school administrators for their abilities.  Of course I am proud of them and every term, I tape each of their report cards to the refrigerator to display their hard work.  But, I am also mindful of traits that my children possess that aren't as readily noticed such as Hunter's ability to quietly lead.  He has an amazing magnetism that draws everyone he comes in contact with to him.  They want to be with him and they want to be like him.  I tell him what a gift this is, and that with his gift, comes great responsibility to be wise in his choices.  Christian has a spiritual and emotional maturity that I have rarely seen in another human being.  While his academic gifts will help him succeed in this world and bring him many accolades, his spiritual and emotional maturity will serve and bless others around him every day for the rest of his life.  How I wish that THIS could be displayed at a "talent" show!  Then there is Madison who is an intuitive, kind-hearted girl with an amazing sense of adventure.  In a rare occurence, she was actually recognized as 1 of 6 students to have lunch with the Mayor because of her hard-working and kind nature.  I was so incredibly proud that someone as deserving as her could be recognized for talents not as easily seen.  Elisabeth astounds me with her artwork--her attention to detail is a sign that she sees what others do not.  She has this ability to "see" in other ways as well.  She amazes me with her questions, observations, and the answers she offers to my questions.  She is mentally and spiritually astute.  Wouldn't that be an epic idea?  To have a talent show in which ALL talents were welcomed and praised?  Each person could tell about their talent whether it be writing poetry, being an amazing friend, having tremendous faith, art, music, etc.  Now THAT would be interesting.
     When I was growing up, I sometimes struggled with feeling "in the shadow" of my sister who had a beautiful singing voice and great acting ability.  She was also much more exciting, interesting, vivacious, and out-going than I.  But my parents regularly took quiet moments to remind me that they valued my obedience, my wisdom (as they saw it), perseverance, and steadfastness.  How these words buoyed me up when my teenage self-esteem was everso fragile!  In later years, I have been able to recognize and appreciate the talents of my sister with absolutely no feelings of jealousy or resentment.  Both my sisters are blessed with a myriad of talents and abilities that I am not, but that I so greatly admire.  I can recognize the beauty of my sisters' abilities, without it taking away from my own worth.  Perhaps I can do this freely because I have learned the value of my own talents and abilities that have gotten me where I am today.  Never would I trade my abilities for those of another.  I admit to maybe wanting to add a talent or two in the next life, like being a dancer--being able to instinctively know how to move my body in a beautiful, graceful way.  But, I would still never want to trade lives or talents with anyone.  I hope that my children grow up knowing that I acknowledge and appreciate their diverse talents and that whether they are outwardly recognizable or not, they are gifts from God.  And they are beautiful.