I ran across a blog post on men's modesty and had to share some of it. It claims, although it may simply be tongue in cheek, that a ward in Nevada started a satellite program where women were put on a modesty committee in order to define more clearly modesty standards in their stake. The women, after much prayer, came to the conclusion it was the
men that need some work on their modesty standards. Here is
part of the transcript of the women's joint meeting with the men after their findings:
WOMEN: Besides the issue of moobs (man boobs), we have found an even bigger problem. Apparently, this behavior is sometimes referred to as a “junkjustment” or an “adjusticle.” We understand that it’s also referred to as “pocket pool.” One of our committee members reported that her husband refers to this as a “ballroom dance.” [e.g. Bob’s underwear was all bunched up, so he did a little "ballroom dance" to get his genitals into a more comfortable position in his pants.]
MEN: We don’t understand.
WOMEN: Effective immediately, all men (and boys) should wear clothing sufficiently thick or bulky to prevent this behavior. Two layers of thermal underwear or an adult nappy (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_diaper) should do the trick.
MEN: Wait a second. All men are now supposed to wear two layers of thermal underwear (or an adult diaper)? It’s summer. Yesterday it was 103 out.
WOMEN: Yes, that’s correct. We want all the men to know how much we love and appreciate them, and we realize that this may result in some inconvenience, but it’s important that men avoid becoming walking porn.
MEN: But can’t women just control their thoughts?
WOMEN: I think I speak for all the women that have served on these committees when I say that I find that to be a pretty insensitive comment. We aren’t the ones running around with our chest flesh flapping in the wind (man boobs), or adjusting our junk in front of the opposite sex.
MEN: Why aren’t you talking to women (and girls) about these issues?
WOMEN: We’ve looked into it, and all the women (and girls) are already behaving modestly. We haven’t seen a single problem in the last six months with man-boobs or adjusticles from women (or girls) in the stake. Modesty appears to be a problem that just the men are struggling with.
MEN: But this is ridiculous. Men don’t wear manssiers (bras for men) or Depends anywhere else.
WOMEN: I think it’s important that we recognize that there is a difference between The Lord’s standards and the The World’s standards. I want the men in this room to ask themselves if they really want to be responsible for causing the women in this stake to sin? The men need to realize how precious they are and how sacred their bodies are and how covering up their man boobs and avoiding frequent "adjustments" is the way they show love and dedication to Christ. Performing priesthood service like giving blessings and cleaning a widow’s yard is not nearly as effective as in showing that dedication by covering up.
[Note: After three weeks of attending church in manssiers and adult diapers, a number of men developed interesting rashes. At least two men suffered significant discomfort when their scrotums became stuck to their inner thighs and they were unable to adjust “things” in a timely fashion. The ward modesty committees determined, however, that these inconveniences were worth it if they helped the women of the ward maintain virtuous thoughts. The women on the modesty committee reminded the men in the stake that the Lord would bless those that exercised exact obedience with respect to the new male modesty guidelines.] --taken from Doves and Serpents blog
I am assuming this account is an exercise in sarcasm but when the roles are switched, the ridiculousness of it all is way more obvious. This has been on my mind because of a conversation I was a part of where a well respected woman recounted how proud she was of her 4 year old granddaughter because she was recently at a swim party where she forgot her swimsuit. The mother of the child whose party it was, offered the 4 year old her daughter's bikini so she could participate. The granddaughter instead chose to sit in the house by herself for the duration of the party because, and I quote, "She had been taught by her parents the importance of modesty and sexual purity." Also, the woman noted that it was obvious that her young granddaughter had "learned to hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost." OH. MY. GOSH. I cannot relate to you sufficiently how incredibly disturbing, demented, and damaging this way of thinking is! The people in this 4 year old's life have inadvertently sexualized her. Should there be anything involving "sexual purity" relating to a child this age? They have made her aware of the sexual nature of her body at the tender age of 4 and then linked it to the Holy Ghost instead of their careful brainwashing. I wanted to SCREAM when I heard this story relayed. What are we doing to our girls in the church?! Our efforts to enforce modesty are becoming extreme in nature and backfiring on both boys and girls. I remember being 4 years old and wearing sun dresses that showed my shoulders. It is a big trend now to encourage young children to wear shirts underneath their sundresses in order to not show their shoulders. For my daughter's first year at girl's camp, she was not allowed to wear shorts, shirts with cap sleeves, or a SWIMSUIT in the water because they were so afraid of having to monitor the girls' clothes. So my daughter went to camp, in August, wearing long pants, long sleeved shirts, and went canoeing fully clothed. So guess what? I guess we have now made children's shoulders and knees sexual. It reminds me of Muslim women wearing burkas where everything is being covered except their eyes and feet, which then become sexual in nature because those are the only things showing. In those countries, if men act out sexually, it is still the women who are blamed. I wish we could realize how WE are feeding in to girls' body issues when we choose to put so much emphasis on their bodies, starting as young as toddlers. And how all of our emphasis on how "special" girls are pales in comparison to the message that is given way more, that when they wear shorts that show their knees, or wear fitted clothing, or tank tops, that they are "sinning" and contributing to boys' problems with pornography. It is sick and wrong, and I'm fed up.
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| Here is my beautiful 8 year old on her baptism day in her sun dress. |
