Happy Sunday!

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Pay Day

Today was one of those big paydays your kids give you that can sometimes be few and far between.  This morning, Christian received an award called the Presidential Leadership & Citizenship Award.  Since he is my first child to enter Junior High, and since he is frequently recognized for his academic accomplishments, I really had no idea that this was such a big deal.  One boy and one girl from 7-9th grade were honored and they had to be nominated by all of their teachers to receive this award.  The teacher that presented Christian with his award said things like how incredibly positive and happy he was and how he was always looking out for others and trying to help his peers understand their assignments.  

     I couldn't help but reflect on the journey that I had been on with Christian that led to this point.  Christian, my precious first, was such a trial in the beginning!  He screamed  all day, everyday until he was about 4.  He was rarely happy and always frustrated.  He was always overwhelmed in group settings and his preschool teacher recommended he be held back and not start kindergarten because of his lack of social skills.  Could this be the same child that was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder just 2 years ago?!  The same child that was being recognized today for being such a happy and positive influence on others and having such an impact on his peers?  I had such a hard time not tearing up, but I tried my best not to embarrass him.  My Dad was able to come too, and that meant such much to the both of us!  As much as I would like to think it was partially me that brought him to this point, I know it wasn't (okay, maybe a little!).  It is the nobility of Christian's spirit, his obedience to the commandments of God, and in return, Heavenly Father's blessings being poured out on him. So next time I am in the car with Ashton crying, Elisabeth screaming for something, Madison and Hunter fighting, and Christian yelling at them all to stop, I will be able to pull from this great experience today and know that it IS all worth it.  So, thank you Christian, and thank you Heavenly Father for this wonderful "payday"!

I've attached some pictures of Christian through the years!

I am . . .

Juliann tagged me so here are my answers to "I am . . ."

I am

I am:  intuitive, wise( I try)

I know:  what unconditional love feels like, what heaven on Earth can be like.

I want:  a Master's Degree in Social Work, to do humanitarian work abroad, and for my children to be joyful.

I have:  a strong body.

I dislike:  people that appear too happy and perfect, and people that think they've got it all figured out and are judgmental of others.

I miss:  being just me and Robert, newlyweds at BYU.

I feel:  frequently overwhelmed.

I hear: my baby crying.

I smell:  a fresh pooh patty. (from Ashton)

I crave:  time by myself and SILENCE, having great accomplishments outside and inside my home, being in nature.

I cry:  when I feel judged, misunderstood, or overwhelmed.

I search:  for truth (no matter the source), for harmony in my relationships, knowledge

I wonder:  why so many have to suffer, and why my children always seem to have "early-out" days, and "teacher prep" days, why Heavenly Mother is so taboo.

I regret:  that I don't have a greater capacity to do and accomplish.

I love: my Robert, my children, my parents and siblings, photography, my bed, my home, my freedom, my personal space.

I worry:  about my kids making poor choices, about what they will be exposed to, about getting in a hideous car accident, about getting cancer, going bald, suffering and dying and then Robert remarrying, about my children being harmed, about other people's problems, the list goes on and on and on . . .

I remember:  my awful high school years, not seeing Robert for 2 1/2 years, all the amazing memories we had before he left.

I dance:  to make my kids laugh.

I don't:  like hearing or touching after I have gone to sleep, I don't like confrontation, LDS authors that aren't apostles, I don't like ugly children, or male genitalia on animals.

I argue: the opposing viewpoint whenever possible, and for the underdog.

I write:  well.

I win:  only when Robert concedes because he feels sorry for me.

I lose:  at everything.

I wish:  I could handle having more children, that I could handle stress better, and that I looked more ethnic.

I listen:  to other people's feelings and thoughts and ponder and respect them (unless they're idiots).

I can usually be found:  running errands, doing homework with my kids, picking up other people's messes, being on the computer, exercising.

I am scared:  of the dark, dying young, small/crammed-with-people spaces, jumping at great heights, being controlled, deep/dark water, bad things happening to those around me.

I need:  time by myself, to have hobbies, to have friends, Robert, frequent naps

I forget:  only when I am really frazzled.

Now let's hear about you!!

My Soapbox

     Last night, I took Christian and Hunter on a date to see the African Children's Choir (www.africanchildrenschoir.com).  They were the most beautiful children with the brightest spirits I have ever seen!  Most of these children (all between 7 and 11 yrs. old) are orphans and participating in this choir is a way for them to pay for their education and living expenses.  

     In Northern Uganda alone, the German Red Cross estimates that over 150,000 orphans are starving to death!  There have been over 9.5 million refugees and millions of people massacred in the genocides of Rwanda, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Darfur.  I think that because these people live such different lives than us, and on the other side of the world, and maybe even because they are black, it is hard to believe that they are exactly like us.  The children that are dying from starvation every day are the equivalent to OUR children, MY children, dying.  The mothers mourn their children's deaths as we would, and when rape is used as a method of war, as it is in the Congo, the women feel scarred just as deeply as we would if that happened to us.

     This is one of the reasons that I feel that the war in Iraq is less than noble in purpose.  There are genocides that are going on TODAY and have been going on for many years, but our country has been slow in even acknowledging that it is occurring!  We say that we are fighting for the freedom of others in Iraq, but if it weren't for the oil benefits to us, I wonder if we would feel the same.  This is not to say that the soldiers are not brave and noble in their intentions, but I do feel that we went into Iraq on false pretenses.  Why aren't we doing more for the people of Africa?!  I desperately want my children to grow up and know of the vast world around them and that it is up to them to help those in need.  I was so impressed that Hunter, who is 7, was spellbound during the entire 2 hour performance which included singing, dancing, and a brief history of what they have endured and continue to endure.  At the end, each child introduced themselves and said what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Without exception, they all wanted to be lawyers, doctors, or teachers.  These children were the essence of innocence, beauty, strength, and hope.  I felt honored to be in the same room as them and plan to continue doing as much as I can, with my family, to continue helping them.  If they can live life with such joy, surely I can too!

Click on link below to see video of choir:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-kM1L5BCvA

"Finding Joy in the Journey"

Today our Relief Society lesson was on President Monson's talk from last conference, entitled "Finding Joy in the Journey."  I loved it the first time I heard it on conference Sunday, and I loved it even more today.  Here is one of the quotes I liked best, 

         "Both abundance and lack of abundance exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities.  It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us happiness--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth."

        This has special significance to me because ever since college, when I had my nervous breakdown and had to drop out, I have been striving to change from a pessimistic perfectionist who was never satisfied, to a person who can find the 'silver lining' in any situation.  I will always be grateful for this "breakdown" because it really forced me to put my life under a microscope and learn WHAT exactly had gotten me to that point.  This is when I realized that I could control how I viewed everything that happened to me.  

       Robert's family has really been a great example of this over the years.  At first, it was perplexing behavior to me because I was so unfamiliar with it, but through the years, I have learned to admire it and embrace it.  One example of this is my sister-in-law Natalie.  I remember one night, about 2 years ago, we had gone to a temple session together and we were riding home, discussing everything going on in our lives.  For those of you who don't know, she has a daughter named  Sierra who was born with a congenital heart defect and had already had open-heart surgery.  Natalie had just learned that her precious 2 year old would most likely have to have a heart transplant.  Natalie had the most upbeat, positive attitude! Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she is always expressing gratitude for doctors and medical technologies that can help her daughter and for the opportunity she had to raise this little girl.  This example has really changed my life for the better.

     President Monson also pleads with us to " . . . not let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do.  Instead, find joy in the journey--NOW."

     I think children are particularly gifted in enjoying the moment.  I am so thankful for my 5 beautiful children that help me live in the moment each day.  

I'm a new blogger AND Our Halloween

Okay.  I guess I've caved into peer pressure and decided to start a blog!  I hope it can be as interesting as all the ones I read!  Here we go . . .

     Anyone who knows me well, knows that Halloween and Valentine's Day are my favorite holidays.  I love Halloween because I love the Fall colors, the cooler weather, the creativity involved, and that it signals that Thanksgiving and Christmas are getting close!

     This year, Robert and I were brave and decided to host an adult halloween costume party with our friends, the Hansens.  We had a total blast!  I also did my annual kids' Halloween party, this year with just the Flynn cousins instead of neighbor kids.  It was complete MAYHEM, but the kids had a lot of fun together.  It was nice that everyone pitched in to help, so it was really quite easy.  Now all I need to do is recover from all the Halloween candy I've eaten, so I can stuff myself for Thanksgiving!